I have taken a mistress

I have taken a mistress

Barry Melrose Rocks

I have taken a mistress

[In St. Paul]

Andrew Ebbett: Well, Guillaume… that’s how you pronounce it correct? Guillaume?

Guillaume Latendresse: Yes of course, Andrew Ebbeet.

AE: Please, call me Andrew. Anyways, Guillaume, because of the contributions we have provided to the Wild since we arrived, coach gave us the day off to explore St. Paul, our new home, and get to know each other. It will be nice to have a friend in a new place, don’t you think.

GL: Can I tell you a secret, Andrew Ebbeet?

AE: Pkease, it’s just Andrew. And my last name is pronounced “Ebbett”.

GL: Of course, Andrew Ebbeet. But I must share zees with you. [motions Ebbett to come closer] I have taken a mistress Andrew Ebbeet.

AE: A girlfriend, that’s great Guillaume!

GL: Yes. I met her in zee dirty town across the river. Her name is Mary.

AE: Minneapolis? I don’t think Minneapolis is dirty….

GL: I meet her at zee same corner, Thursdays and Saturdays at 6pm. She is always there with a smile on her face.She listens to my problems, and  never interrupts me.

AE: That’s great, Guillaume

GL: She never interrupts me, Andrew Ebbeet. And I am not just trying to brag, Andew Ebbeet, I have heard others describe her as “statuesque.”

AE: Oh –

GL: That means beautiful, Andrew Ebbeet!

AE: Yes, well it sounds like you have found yourself quite the woman, Guillaume

GL You must meet her, Andrew Ebbeet!

[Later, in Minneapolis]


AE: Really?

GL: What do you mean, Andrew Ebbeet?

AE: That’s a statue, Guillaume.

GL: Zat would explain why she nevever responded to my advances.

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