That Was Bad And You Should Feel Bad. BRUINS LOSE.

That Was Bad And You Should Feel Bad. BRUINS LOSE.


That Was Bad And You Should Feel Bad. BRUINS LOSE.

I literally have no idea what the hell I watched so just bear with me on this one because it’s going to be all over the place. The Bruins somehow managed to lose to the Senators in overtime yesterday afternoon in game 2 but it didn’t have to be that way. Let’s run down some shit and see if we can’t make some sense of it all.

The game started off pretty decent with no actual goals until Drew Stafford scored in the second period.

This goal was the subject of a Coach’s Challenge by Ottawa because there was some speculation that someone was offside prior to the goal being scored but the Bruins were awarded the goal. Let me just say some shit about some shit though because the amount of time they took to do this coach’s challenge pretty much killed my entire soul. Long, boring, drawn out reviews are such a waste of time and effort.

Anyway, Clarke MacArthur scored next, tying the game 1-1. I’m not putting his goal in this recap because fuck that guy and his cave troll face. Shortly after though the Bruins responded while on the penalty kill but guess what? it wasn’t Brad Marchand.

That’s right. Tim Schaller scored a short handed goal and it was pretty glorious. This makes him the first Bruins player to score a SHG in a playoff game since Bulldog Underbite Paille did in 2013.

To solidify the Bruins lead, Patrice Bergeron also scored in the second while on the powerplay. Charlie McAvoy was credited with an assist on the goal, making thid his first ever NHL point, but upon looking at the box score this morning I see that the assists were given to Marchand and Pastrnak so maybe not?

If you want to stay happy then you should stop reading right now because the rest of the game can be summed up in one word: Bullshit.

In the third, the Bruins appeared to have fallen apart a bit and Chris Wideman was able to score bringing the Senators within one.

I’m not sure what happened there to be quite honest. Perhaps McAvoy screened Rask a bit or something but regardless of the reason for it, the puck went in.

Then this happened:

Are you fucking kidding me with that pass Erik Karlsson? If that was my team doing that I’d be waiting in the locker room after the game handing out free happy endings for all, but sadly no. That was Erik Karlsson sending a gorgeous pass to Derick Brassard. Beautiful. Tragic.

The Bruins were unable to get back into it in the third and the game ended in over time and we font need to talk about that do we?

We do? *sigh* Fuck me. Okay, fine. Dion Phaneuf, noted pissbaby and critically acclaimed shitweasel, scored the goal in overtime giving the Senators game two.

The amount of love I have for Phaneuf can fit inside the smallest ant in the world’s teaspoon. That goal killed me. Of all the players to win the game why on earth did it have to be that guy?

-Charlie McAvoy. Oh. My. Goodness. Charlie ended up playing way more minutes than he was likely intended to play last night and it didnt seem to throw him off at all. After McQuaid left with an injury (we’ll talk about that in a bit, promise), Charlie ended up picking up the entire team and carrying them on his back while he just did his thing like he was some kind of work horse out there.

Bless this child and all he carried.

-Drewnicorn Stafford for getting through whatever the hell he had going on in the first period and getting the Bruins on the board with their first goal of the game.

-Anthem kid was my favorite part of the evening, if I’m being honest here. So talented.

-Now, bear with me here because I’m about to be a nasty bitch. Mark Borowiecki, aka the doucheknuckle that was involved with injuring Colin Miller, left the game with a lower body injury of his own last night. While I don’t like to see players get injured and find it tasteless when a team’s fanbase cheers for a player getting injured we have to keep in mind that Borowiecki is dirty trash and thus I must state emphatically fuck that guy.

-Tim Schaller. I still really like this Schaller fellow and his nifty little short handed goal was delightful. He is a player I don’t often think about, he’s just kind of there, but then he goes and does these neat little things I appreciate. Not that it’s all golden and he’s perfect but last night nothing stands out as particularly horrid. Unlike some others…

I mentioned it above and now we’re going to talk about it. The Bruins are slowly running out of D. Adam McQuaid left the game early last night with what I believe is an upper body injury (correct me if I’m wrong, but it appears to be head related if I recall correctly). So, the Bruins currently are without Brandon Carlo, Torey Krug, Colin Miller and Adam McQuaid on D and also Krejci. While McQuaid may not be the best player ever it’s still rough to be without yet another defenceman.

Here’s an interesting visual:

-Drew Stafford spent much of the first period being a fucking nightmare. Turnovers, bad passes, massive mistakes, very much the Drew Stafford I know and recognize from the Jets. But then he actually did score the first goal of the game and seemed to get better after that. Watching him play last night was like watching a really shitty, wooden roller coaster: creaky, irritating, bumpy but with some thrills and good parts.

-Zdeno Chara. What the hell, bud? At the very end of the third period, just before OT was to start Chara lifted the puck over the glass and got himself a lovely delay of game penalty. This led the Bruins to having to start OT short handed and was a really stupid move to make especially since it was unnecessary at that exact time to even bother trying to lift the puck at all.

Same, Cass. Same.

At he got to sit and feel the shame of it all.

-Take another look at the Brassard goal and pay close attention to the Bruins. What were they doing? Obviously not paying attention to where Karlsson’s pass was going. Like a bunch of geese following a breadcrumb on a stick they all seemed to have chosen to follow the puck around the ice instead of anticipating what could happen. Not good, gentlemen. Not good at all.

-So if McQuaid is injured, who do we get to see now? O’Gara? Grzelcyk or however that’s spelled?
-How much ice time can Charlie actually handle per game? Is he going to crack or can he maintain his production?
-Will they please just win game 3?

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