So I took a brief hiatus in my binge watch of Showtime’s NHL All-Access show for a few reasons, namely the return of Twin Peaks, Veep was so good, beers with friends, free agency, Fleury leaving and basically I needed a short breather from writing because, well, writing is the god damn devil sometimes.
But hey, I’m back and if you’ve clicked on this then so are you. If you missed the primer for that this is and how it works here it is again:
I will warn you now, this is gonna be random as hell. I’m basically just gonna throw down whatever I’m thinking as I go through watching the show, like bullet points without the bullet points – mainly the stuff I would yell out at any given time if you were sitting on my couch with me as we watched. Crack some cold ones, lets get weird with it.
If you missed part 1 you can read that first here if ya want.
Episode 1 ended with the Pens getting their shit kicked in by Ottawa in game 3 of the Eastern Final and the West final knotted up at 2. Alright here we go, Episode 2, original air date May 27th.
Let me just say this one starts out pretty normal, typical stuff, like fans are intense and hockey is hard but then we take a left turn QUICKLY.
Pretty sure this is what you see before you die. I will never forget this face. He rides a pale horse and strikes down us all in the end.
Going back into a reset of the last episode we watch Fleury getting pulled and Murray stepping into the cage. With the help of hindsight it’s so strange to think that’s the last time 29 will ever, most likely, be in the Penguins net. I’m 31 years old, Fleury was the Penguins goalie for 42% of my lifetime. The idea of time makes me shudder when I’m up at 1am thinking about depressing shit I should be trying to suppress. Godspeed MAF.
The show opens in earnest with the Pens out throwing the football around and we are blessed with this amazing exchange between Phil and Geno.
*Gene drops two straight passes*
Phil: WORST HANDS EVER
Geno: Is hockey hands Phil not football
Phil: WORST HANDS EVER
Geno: Ya I see you last game. You have worst hands
I love these two good hockey boys.
Letang ripping into the room before game 4 to read the starting lineup with a “Lets fucking go boys” almost made me jump back in my chair. Gonna be fun as hell to have a healthy 58 in the lineup next year.
Crosby trying to convince Geno to “stay outta the shit” is very adorable and incredibly futile. Crosby trying to convince Geno of this is like someone trying to tell me I shouldn’t drink beer so much. You have your code and I have mine let’s all just live our lives.
“The Pens somehow win game ____” might have been the most typed or said sentence of the hockeyverse during the playoffs.
Brian Bromoulin only scores playoff goals.
We switch out to the West and I think Anaheim actually practices in an old high school gym or something?
It’s shameful this franchise hasn’t brought back the Duck mask jerseys yet.
Laviolette says everything like a drunk dad about to get in a fight at a little-league game.
Erik Karlsson looks like if Snidely Whiplash had a Swedish cousin, but rather than tying damsels to railroad tracks he commits bank fraud.
Really strong episode so far from Dumo. Shotgunning a red bull with Daley while pouring one out for the lost homies is top notch. Plus he kinda looks like Jonah Ryan with a beard in this screenshot. Ron Hainsey looking at them like their dipshits in the background of this shot is underrated comedy as well. You get the feeling Hainsey maybe didn’t fit in particularly well.
The Ducks really got harpooned by their goaltending. Woof. Nashville clinches and moves onto the Stanley Cup Final. “Lets bury one more team and hoist that fucker,” let me know how that works out Smashville.
This man’s hair
Bobby Ryan chirping Crosby, “You haven’t done anything all night.” Your name is Bobby lol.
This episode really weirdly smashes games 6 & 7 of the Eastern Final into the last 6 minutes. Kind of disorienting.
What was that you were saying about not doing anything Bobby?
Pens finish the Sens. Chris Kunitz forever. Episode over.
Episode 3 on deck next week. Go Pens.