Hockey After Dark, Night #8: “Fresh Cakes” Edition

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Hockey After Dark, Night #8:

Welcome to Hockey After Dark, a nightly recap of the NHL playoffs made possible by insomnia, playoff anxiety, and my BFF caffeine.  Come for the topical social commentary, and stay for the sporadic in-depth analysis littered with obscure literary references.  If you enjoy the snark, feel free to follow me at @DXTraeger.

Penguins Humiliate Flyers in Front of a LOT of Empty Seats & Broken Dreams

The only word that comes to mind when describing the Pittsburgh Penguins’ 5-0 dismantling of the Philadelphia Flyers on Wednesday night is “clinical.”

Absolutely nothing the Flyers tried against the Penguins worked, and their efforts included changing goalies (Michael Neuvirth replaced Brian Elliott after goal #3), executing dirty slashes (Matt Read whacked the back of Derick Brassard’s knee as Brassard was heading to the bench), and inserting Jordan Weal into the lineup (Weal played an insignificant 10:53 and was a -1 with one shot on goal).

Matt Murray posted his second shutout of the series, and was rarely challenged outside of denying Travis Konecny on a breakaway late in the first period (Konecny took the unusual tactic of firing a wrist shot from around 30 feet away against an aggressively positioned Murray).

Remember how some morons decorated the urinals around the Wells Fargo Center with pictures of Sidney Crosby prior to Game 3?

Hockey After Dark, Night #8:
See, Giroux only gets arrested for sexually     molesting police officers. Sidney Crosby wins MVP’s and Stanley Cups. That’s the Crosby Difference.  Fresh Cakes.

Well, Sidney “Sucks” Crosby scored his 5th of the series last night via yet another wrap-around.  The Penguins’ captain’s tally might serve as the perfect metaphor for how this series has unfolded to this point, as his marker happened in part because of soft defensive play (see: Gostisbehere, Shayne) and an out-of-his-league goalie caught looking in the completely wrong direction (see: Neuvirth, Michal).

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The true dagger in this game came off of the blade of Phil Kessel, whose patented one-legged wrister bounced off of Elliott’s knee before hitting Elliott’s skate, at which point the puck pinged off the post and into the net (hilariously enraging one particular Flyers’ fan behind the net).

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Kessel’s goal was deflating because it came immediately after an extended stretch of Flyers-dominated play in the Penguins’ end.  Kessel’s score seemed to destroy what was left of Philadelphia’s soul as the Orange & Black meekly skated out the remainder of the contest.

Game 4 happened with both teams missing important components: the Flyers missed Sean Couturier (knee) while the Penguins played without Patric Hornqvist.

On the plus side for the Flyers, they lost to Pittsburgh 7-0 with Couturier IN the lineup (he was a -4), so perhaps their odds are improving for Game 5?

The Tampa Bay Lightning and New Jersey Devils Apparently Hate Each Other

Raise your hand if, when considering the eight different Round 1 playoff matchups, you thought that the Tampa Bay Lighting versus the New Jersey Devils would be the most vicious and physical.

Sit down and stop lying, Billy and Darlene.

Tampa Bay’s Nikita Kucherov scored two goals to pace the Lightning to a 3-1 win & 3-1 series lead, but Kucherov will likely be suspended following an ugly charge/headshot that took Devils’ defenseman Sami Vatanen out of the game in the first period.

A series of other rough hits were exchanged between the two teams, and the game wasn’t decided until Kucherov scored an empty-netter with just 1:08 remaining in regulation.

New Jersey will look to stave off elimination while the heavily favored Lighting will look to advance to Round 2 during Saturday’s Game 5.

Filip Forsberg is Still Good, Everyone Still Hates PK Subban

Former Washington Capital Filip Forsberg added to his 2018 playoff highlight reel with a beautiful power-move goal, but the Colorado faithful left unfulfilled as the Nashville Predators moved to a 3-1 series lead with a 3-2 win.

The Avalanche, down 3-0 after two periods, made it close by scoring twice in the third and even managed to hit the post in the waning moments, but as the saying goes, “Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

Hockey After Dark, Night #8:
God, I love the internet.

The NHL Puts a Playoff Elimination Game on the Golf Channel, Predictable Things Happen

Perhaps you’ve heard the expression “the writing was on the wall.”

In the Anaheim Mighty Ducks’ case, the writing was on the TV channel, as the NHL/NBC put their late night West Coast contest (again reinforcing the notion of the East Coast “nobody cares” bias) on NBC’s freaking GOLF CHANNEL.

If “losing in the playoffs” and “golfing” weren’t inherently synonymous within hockey vernacular, the scheduling decision by NBC and the NHL could be seen as convenient, or perhaps even arbitrary.

(The linked story above by Kevin Allen of USA Today does a great job of pointing out the bizarre intersection of networking and hockey traditions)

Anyway, just like I was intimating, the San Jose Sharks swept the Anaheim Ducks on the GOLF CHANNEL marking the easiest transition from playoffs to post-season, ever, for the Ducks and their players.

No overtime, so no Shirtless Moments of Zen…

But This Should Still Warm the Cockles of Your Heart…

Hockey After Dark, Night #8:

 

 

 

 

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