At Team Canada’s practice

[Coach Mike Babcok calls out to his squad at the end of practice]

Babcock: Great practice guys, let's bring it in. Duchene, I thought you were great out there. I don't have anything negative to say about you.

Matt Duchene, confused: Sorry? How much longer do you want me to skate?

Babcock: What? None. Pracitice is over, I thought you were great today, and I plan on giving you more time on the ice through the rest of the tournament

Duchene: So, on a scale of 1-10, how mad are you?

Babcock: What are you talking about? Like, a 0, I'm not mad at all.

Duchene. Coach Roy was upset whenever a shot missed the net, we didn't get the right angle on a dump in, there was an offsides, his omelette wasn't warm anymore, pretty much everything. Sometimes, he would get upset that there is nothing to be upset about. 

Babcock: Yeah, I'm not upset.

Duchene: Coach Roy sometimes says that, and he makes us skate for 2 more hours to give him time to come up with something to be mad about. 

Babcock: That's deplorable.

Duchene: I don't know what that word means. Is this a situation where I have to skate because I'm stupid, or people who know what it means have to skate for being know it alls?

Babcock: It means awful and terrible. Nobody has to skate

Duchene: Oh no, does that mean….

Babcock: Does it mean what? I can almost guarantee no.

Duchene: Does that mean you are getting the stick?

Babcock: No.  What is the stick for?

Duchene: If you can't skate, Coach Roy hits you in the ankles with an wooden goalie stick. 

Babcock: Good lord. 

Duchene: Let me get this straight. You don't make everyone skate 12 hours a day and beat them when their not skating?

Babcock: I don't think anyone in the league does that. 

Duchene: Nobody? Next thing you are going to tell me nobody else builds team cameraderie by beating up hobos. together.