Head Coach Bill Peters – Oh man, that was bad.
Assistant Steve Smith – That was so so bad.
Goalie Coach David Marcoux – That was worse than bad, it was awful.
Peters – We lost to the Coyotes!
Smith – At home!
Marcoux – So awful. No coming back from this.
Peters – And we lost to the Avs the game before!
Smith – AT HOME!
Marcoux – AWFUL!
Peters – The papers are going to be pretty unforgiving.
Smith – Man, if the bosses see that, we’re going to be toast.
Marcoux – Awful! Unemployment, here we come.
Peters – Hey… Where’s Rod?
[Rod Brind’amour, GM Ron Francis and owner Peter Karamanos laughing as they enter the room]
Karamanos – Hey guys, how’s it going, you catch the game last night?
Peters, confused – Yeah… we…. lost…
Karamanos – What? What game were you watching? The Heels WON!
Peters – The…
Francis – Yeah, coach. The Tar Heels. They beat Duke. You know, the game last night!
Brind’Amour – Yeah, Bill, the only game that mattered last night [Brind’Amour winks aggressively]
Peters – Oh, yeah! haha! Great game!
Karamanos – Yeah, great. Hey, I got places to be. Keep on hockeying!
Peters – What… What was that?
Brind’Amour – You need to learn to relax, man.
Smith – I thought we were toast, as soon as he saw the paper today!
Francis – The paper? Are you kidding?
Brind’Amour – Yeah, man. There is no way he even knows what the ‘Canes are doing right now. How do you think Maurice kept his job so long? Just relax. Look at News&Observer’s sports home page:
Peters – Oh wow.
Smith – Amazing.
Marcoux – So we’re off the hook?
Francis – Yup. Just make sure you don’t say you like Duke, and you’re all set.
Peters – Perfect. I don’t even know who Duke is.