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NFL announces special Super Bowl plans

Today Roger Goodell and the NFL issued a statement on a very special plan for the biggest football game of the year. It was passed along to us because there was a hockey note in it. Here it is!

With the growing onus on player safety in the NFL, and the obvious necessity of finding a winner of this, the Super Bowl, the NFL reached a crossroads. How do you quickly find the best team in the league in as short a time as possible? Fortunately, the NHL has also encountered this issue and came up with the perfect solution (The Shootout), so we consulted them.

Now, if the game is not resolved after each team has had a possession in overtime, the game will be resolved by players throwing the footballs into a hole cut out of an inflatable soda can. See below:

It will be a best of 5 competition, with each player getting one attempt, in alternating turns at opposite ends of the stadium. The competition is not confined to quarterbacks, and if it is tied, the 'throw off' will continue until the tie is resolved, with new throwers inserted for every throw.

This is the perfect solution, obviously. Why not boil a complicated 60 minute game down to one skill, ignoring all others necessary to compete at a high level in this game, in order to judge who the best team that day is. After all, without fail, the best team is the one with the best throwers, be they quarterbacks, linebackers or offensive guards. Thank you, NHL, for your help in solving this problem

The NFL stated that this may be incorporated in future seasons of the NFL, and that teams that won in a throwoff were obviously just as good as a team that wins 56-0, and should be rewarded as such in the standings.