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The Sports Daily > Barry Melrose Rocks
The Canucks make a decision

[Henrik and Daniel Sedin are reviewing the Canucks roster]

Henrik: He has the smooth leathery skin of a porpoise.

Daniel: Not like our pockmarked, pasty  skin, clearly unlike any sea mammal. 

Henrik:  He has the thick long hair of a marmoset.

Daniel: And so dark! Why can’t he have red, scraggly hair, cropped close in a goatee like a normal person?

Henrik: He wears too many pads

Daniel: Coward.

Henrik: He ends his name with a vowel, like a dirty Finn.

Daniel: EFTERBLIVEN 

Henrik: So it’s settled then

Daniel: It is settled.

Henrik: Roberto Luongo must go

Daniel: Perhaps he can go to Florida, with the rest of the sea mammals.