Who is the most interesting man in the NHL, you ask? Well, that’s him, with his back and girlfriend facing you. The man of mystery, the man who dares not show his face, is of course Dion Phaneuf. A few fun facts about Mr. Phaneuf.
– Was born in Edmonton on April 10th, 1985. Purchased his swim trunks (pictured) the very next day.
– Has been voted the hardest hitter in the NHL. He may, in fact, be the bastard child of Scott Stevens.
– There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Dion Phaneuf’s keyboard. Dion Phaneuf is always in control.
– Once got Sean Avery suspended without saying a word.
– Graced the cover of NHL 09. In my version, at the end of the year, the Blackhawks traded Andrew Ladd to the Penguins for Evgeni Malkin. I suspect that since Phaneuf isn’t wrong, Ladd must be pretty good. He can’t even crack the first line for the Hawks, so they must be AWESOME! Also, the Hawks, as already mentioned, eliminated Phaneuf’s Flames. The fact that the Canucks are up 1-0 and are leading in the first period means nothing.Hawks will win the series.
(I figure if we’re late on the Canucks-Hawks preview, we might as well talk about a player on a team that’s not even playing anymore in lieu of a real discussion)