Who wants to buy the Bills now?!

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This has been a piece that I’ve been wanting to do since Ralph Wilson died. However, every time I put my words to a computer screen, I come away shaking my head wondering how stupid all of this is about to get and how everyday that passes, something stupider will occur leaving the piece dated.  But even when you are battling a dated piece, it still doesn’t change how stupid the main idea of the story is. In other words, the theme of this piece is probably the word “Stupid”.

If you were to tell me a year ago the names being thrown around as potential owners of the Bills were Donald Trump and Bon Jovi, I would have thought you had a better chance of being the heir to the Iron Throne than those two taking over the Bills.

Alas, here we are and there they are. Oh, and let’s throw Thurman Thomas’ name into the mix (Really?). What the hell happened to debating between Golisano, Pegula and that Wall Street guy? Oh, and let’s not forget the time Clemson QB Chad Kelly had beers in the Bills parking lot with that guy who owned a soccer team…or was it a hockey team? It is just so bizarre when it comes to the names being thrown out here. Just the minimum requirements are needed to really be apart of the ownership storyline for us to react to it.

It is becoming an unintentional, comedic reality show, or like an ownership version of the VH1 show “The Surreal Life.” Trump? Bon Jovi? Where’s Gary Busey or Axl Rose at? Can I just tell you how much I hate this? I HATE THIS!

Sure, a lot of this has to do with the unknown of the franchise’s relocation fate, but also the fact that in a world where rumors are treated as facts and fans generally shit or go blind in regards to the team’s future, a story like this tends to grow legs when there shouldn’t be any to begin with.

Considering that lamestreamers once had Tom Brady not liking our hotels as a BREAKING NEWS bulletin, it shouldn’t shock us that if Bon Jovi is seen having lunch with the Rogers people, it’s news. When Jim Kelly used to repeat 600 times that he wanted to keep the team in Buffalo, it was breaking news. Rinse. Repeat. Cycle…or however you wash clothes.

If Donald Trump throws his name into the act for owning a team, when there’s clear evidence of him toying with the public about his goals in politics and saying “maybe” before he says “no”, it gets analyzed to death. Oh, and I’m completely guilty as charged for analyzing this to death. I’ve tried to ignore it, but caring about the Bills dupes me into giving my two cents on all of this.

I’ve said this a few times on Twitter, but it is worth repeating…anyone who buys the Bills won’t be able to move the team until 2020. Meaning, it would behoove those parties to sing tons of pleasantries about how Buffalo is a great football town, how they aren’t going to move the team and pretty much placate our giant, sad egos.

If Bon Jovi/Rogers buy the team, I seriously doubt they are going to say we are moving the team in six years. They would get killed by the #billsmafia if that were the case.

They will probably come out and say all the reporters in the Toronto newspaper are liars. They will say they just want to get in the NFL business and having a franchise 70 minutes away in Buffalo is an easy fit, just like Trump saying that about his flight from NYC to Buffalo. I’m sure some will probably fall for this pitch, as we love anyone who gives the city any sort of love, reassurance, and is willing to tell us that the future in Buffalo is bright.

Then there’s Donald Trump…

….

Still…

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Seriously? This is fucken awful!

…Ugh.

He’s such a fucken tool. If it isn’t his crap about bankrupting the USFL (Note: Watch the 30/30 where pretty much every talking head buried him for being an egotistical asshole. Oh, and all those NFL owners who respect him for fighting the NFL, yeah, they really can’t wait to have this blowhard own a team it seems,) or his political viewpoints being insane, it is the fact that he is a starfucker. Everything he does is for attention. Hell, he even tweeted to the commissioner about buying the Bills!? Who in 7 Hells would do that?

I feel terrible saying this, because it makes me come across as being a bit sheltered, cynical, and one who views rich celebrity carpetbaggers as being pretentious clowns who don’t get our silly blue-collar worth ethics, but he’s just all wrong for Buffalo.

Trump views himself as a celebrity who is always looking to rub elbows with other B-List celebrities. He’s a media whore and maybe I’m just too big of a cynic, but I could totally see someone like him fighting with NYS -which he has a GREAAAT relationship with (Sarcasm)- about getting a new stadium and then deciding to take his ball and go elsewhere, like to LA. where he can whore out his football team to get recognition in the B-list Hollywood community.

At the same time, he can make New York State look inept for not being able to support a team, which is something he’s had a hard-on for with his vendetta against the NYS Government (See: Cuomo and most Democrats).

Then, top it all off with Trump going on WBEN to talk about how important football is to Buffalo, which just doesn’t register with me cause I never for one second thought that Donald Trump spent 2 minutes of his life  prior to that interview thinking about what the Bills mean to Buffalo. It just feels very insincere.

Just if Central Casting could pick a guy who I think could tell us how great we are, get bored, and then move us in 2020, it would be fucken Donald Trump.

Now, the optimistic viewpoint is that if he wants to keep the team here long-term, then we are all fine with whomever that owner is. Another optimistic take is that Trump would probably mold himself as like a George Steinbrenner who wouldn’t take losing well and would probably try and outspend everyone. He’d also be pretty witty with a quote which would endear him to some fans and lamestreamers alike. Still, he’s just someone I wouldn’t trust.

The bottom line is that 2020 still rings a bell with me and I’d rather have a guy with Buffalo connections buy the team so I don’t have to constantly think about it.

It has been beaten to death how if the Bills were moved by 2020 to LA/Toronto, the value would skyrocket and that would be a hell of a return on your initial 2014 investment.

It is all about the dollars with the NFL and most owners. I think it makes more sense for me to sleep better if someone has legit connections to the region (See: Pegula/Jacobs) rather than some rich white guy going on message boards to see what the team means to us.

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