The Sports Daily > Cards Diaspora
8 Things Happening When LaRussa Was Hired

You want a hack blog post?

You got a hack blog post!

Tony LaRussa has a presser scheduled for later today where he will announce he is coming back to the Cardinals for the 2011 season. He also has an option for the 2012 if Albert Pujols is singed or something.

If you want in-depth analysis… well here it is: who were the Cardinals going to get that was better? Probably no one. Are we even sure that managers do anything anyway? Couldn’t you have gotten 86 wins out of the 2010 Cardinals?

Not to be flip, but getting a legit fourth starter and another bat in this line-up are more important than who the camera will catch furtive glances of when Kyle Lohse melts down in the fifth inning.

But TLR’s stay in St. Louis is nothing, if not historic. In fact, he’s been in St. Louis since 1996.

Nineteen Ninety SIX!

That’s a long time. So long, we’re going to do some half-ass Googling of what was going on in 1996 and blow your MIND.

The Year of LaRussa’s Arrival — 1996

+ The year 1996 was designated the International Year for the Eradication of Poverty. — Mission accomplished!

+ Jamaican authorities open fire on Jimmy Buffett’s seaplane, Hemisphere Dancer, mistaking it for a drug trafficker’s plane. U2 singer Bono is also on the plane; no-one is injured. —  WHOA! Think of all the Landshark we would have missed out on.

+ Garth Brooks refuses to accept his American Music Award for Favorite Overall Artist. Brooks says that Hootie and the Blowfish had done more for music that year than he did. — Think old Garth would like a mulligan on that one?

+ A Beijing court sentences former student leader Wang Dan, now 27, to 11 years in prison after a show trial in a sealed courthouse, silencing the last of the communist regime’s prominent domestic critics. Wang played a major role in the Tiananmen Square democracy movement 7 years prior. — I’m no poly-sci major… but when your last stand against the brutal iron fist of communism is ‘Wang Dan’, then you don’t have a prayer. Sure he’s a good family man, though.

+ President Clinton signs legislation August 20 raising the minimum wage from $4.25 to $4.75 —  I knew we were getting screwed on the Larry Bigbe deal. DAMN YOU BIGBIE!

+ The PalmPilot shipped in April, which fits into the palm of the hand, can connect the user to the Internet. — The Palm Freaking Pilot? That one really drove home how long TLR has been here. Damn those things were awful.

+ Golfer Tiger Woods wins an unprecedented third consecutive United States Amateur tournament, quits Stanford to turn pro August 28, signs endorsement deals worth $60 million, and by October 20 has won two PGA Tour events. —  I imagine that Stanford is a breeding ground for sexual deviants? Is that the takeaway here?

+ Top of the Pops? Macarena — Oh Macarena.

And finally…

+ There was no YouTube, Digg, Google, Twitter, Facebook, or Wikipedia. There was no instant messaging or online MP3s. Amazon was just getting started and only sold books. —  HOW DID WE LIVE!?!?