Another Cardinals Marketing FAIL!

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The Cardinals have a disease. And it’s not called apathy; at least not today.

Nope those sick animals over in the Birds marketing department were up late again and in their delusional state decided that it would be awesome to give away a personalized replica jersey.

 

Nice.

 

I mean, it’s not like I can wear the thing without any pride (or without Matt Sebek getting creepy pics of me). But F it. It’s like 99 bucks regularly so… FREE MONEY!

 

Tell me Cardinals, what do I need to do? Fill out a online form allowing you all my personal data? No?

 

Don’t tell me I have to create a Flip video and submit it to a contest where all my friends will have to vote for me to win the damn thing. I hate those things. No?

 

Well then… WHAT?

 

Whoaaaaa, there bub. Are you being for reals right now? Bloatware?

 

(blōt´wãr) (n.) jargon Software that has lots of features and requires considerable disk space and RAM. As the cost of RAM and disk storage has decreased, there has been a growing trend among software developers to disregard the size of applications. Some people refer to this trend as creeping featuritis. If creeping featuritis is the symptom, bloatware is the disease.

 

Can you at least mail me a free 8000 hours of AOL, first?

 

Maybe you have scientific studies that prove that a majority of your fan base is completely computer illiterate. But I find it more than a bit ironic that after your initial ‘Social Media Night’ that you’d be willing to push out an e-mail that encourages web activity that not even the most black hat marketer is wasting time with anymore.

 

A whole toolbar? For a CHANCE at a $99 replica jersey?

 

You rascals. You must be sitting there watching your download count and laughing your asses off this Friday.

 

But on the off chance that you’re serious and you think this is a good way to get ‘sticky’ with on-line fans of the Cardinals… you should be fired.


Seriously.

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