The Sports Daily > Cards Diaspora
Cardinals Do Damage… To The Boys

So I woke up and started reading about the testicle eating fish in Papua New Guineana that have killed two men and the British Angler that went on a mission to catch these ferocious sons of bitches and I wondered if being a Cardinal fan this season is much different.

We’re constantly getting our nuts crunched.

The Cardinals are playing like they don’t have any.

Hell, I think we have a theme for the end of season DVD! “NUTS: The 2012 Cardinals”. 40K (insane) people decided to brave 105+ degree heat yesterday and just as they’d settled in, the Pirates loaded the bases and bitched slapped some sense into people.

It was the second straight beating at the hands of the Pirates. A team that hasn’t had a winning season since Bill Clinton was President. A team that has 50% of the payroll of the Cardinals.

The Cardinals finished June with a losing record at home, friends. Regardless of what they do today, it’s another lost series for the Birds on the Bat.

And that 7-8 game winning homestead that we needed? That’s shot to shit as well. It was looking like the Cardinals had finally busted through the gravitational pull of .500, but now we know that was a mirage. Oh, and that whole rationalization… it’s all good, we just got to beat the Reds head to head!… that you’re starting to prep for use? Stop it. Just stop it now.

Gross weekend, Cards.

Coach Mac Update:

HQ got a call from Coach Mac on Sunday pointing out that we omitted the guy who gets kicked in the nuts for a ‘talent’ on America’s Got Talent. Apologies for not thinking of this sooner.