Crashing Weddings Spawns Brilliant Analogy

I don’t tout my awesome awesomeness much here anymore- it’s implied. But I would appreciate you heading over to InsideSTL to check out my regular Friday column, because I think it’s pretty OK:

JENNIFER HUDSON RUINED THE CARDINALS SEASON?

Not only does it include a sick wedding crashing story, but I think it makes a point that nobody else in the STL is making about the Cardinals: The ‘freak factor’ is going to have to be turned way up in 2010. What’s the freak factor?

That’s why they call it a tease, pal.

In other doings, the Rams did select Sam Bradford, making him the first Chinese player the Rams have ever drafted. No… Lawrence Phillips incredibly stoned does NOT count.

Timothy Tebow, we found out, only hangs out with models AND is heading to Denver. I’ve been to Denver. I like Denver. I’ll be heading out there in August to see Denver again. It’s probably the most accepting ‘liberal’ NFL city he could of gone to. He’ll have some people that are fired up about bringing his religious messages to town. But mostly, the young kids in Denver are trying to find a sober driver to Boulder to pick up a quarter bag.

The Cardinals are in San Francisco this weekend battling the Giants and the Gays. And during the 3 game set in AZ, I was offering a Twitter prize if any Cardinal could hit a ball into the hot tub. I kept adding shit to the package, but, alas, no Cardinal could connect. So I’m going to stick with the gag through the weekend and offer the prize to the first person to call it after a Cardinal hits a home run in the bay. Follow me HERE if you want to participate.

The Rams will have all day to stew on what they want to do with pick 33 of the NFL Draft. If history is any guide, this is where the wheels won’t just fall off, they’ll bounce off the track and into the stands killing 16 babies and nuns. For what it’s worth- I predict they’ll trade down. Acquiring a fifth round pick and end up selecting Arrelious Benn from the University of Illinois.

Now, some links…

• A woman, 20 & semi-cute, is banned from EVERY bar in England. For real. LINK HERE
• Ready to have your mind BLOWN! The new way to eat a cupcake. LINK HERE
• Are you an internet troll? I can see some of you being a 100% match. LINK HERE
• You want to see a portrait drawn from a cassette tape? Yes you do. LINK HERE
• The Dude. McGyver. DudeGyver? You bet your sweet ass this is the link of the weeek. LINK HERE
• Pretty impressive play at the plate. That’s one way to beat a tag. LINK HERE (HT: JH)

That’s it for the week. Go forth and drink until the pain of your job is no loger a weight on your shoulders but a burden long forgotten. Unless you work on the weekend. That sucks.