The Sports Daily > Cards Diaspora
Dear Adam: You’re In The Doghouse

Ed note: 

This is part of the 'Dear Adam' series from the 2013 postseason. For more notes to Mr. Wainwright you can read HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE or HERE – The latest installment is below. 

Dear Adam,


I mean, (gross throat gurgle,) how was YOUR day? Did it crackle with the excitement of a fall evening in the postseason? 

Did you get up yesterday morning with the quiet determination to go play some SERIOUS baseball? Did you anticipate the sharp SWOOSH of a thousand strike outs? Or at the very least, the crisp sound of a bat against a baseball and the soft whisper of that same ball landing quietly in a leather glove?  

Because if you thought any of those things, YOU WERE ALL WRONG.

Last night was an unmitigated disaster.

Babe, I KNOW that you were on the unfair end of some of the worst defensive plays I've seen in my adult life. (Probably an exaggeration, but my point stands.)


I don't want to place blame on anyone, but that's mostly because I don't know where to start. I'm just so angry!  It was so awful!  WHAT WAS THAT???

I'm going to end this quickly, as I need to go take a Xanax and do some aroma therapy.

But seriously. Could you guys please get your shit together tonight and act like you've been here before??? I mean, you are all professionals.


This is not acceptable.

At the end of the day, I still love you very much, although I will admit that I threw a vase through an upstairs window last night. Yeaaahhh, that's probably going to need replaced, so you should call Dave and get that taken care of.