The Rams are sucking.
The Cardinals are in the middle of an awful stretch of trades and acquisitions, while NL rivals are picking up Cliff Lee and Zack Greinke.
Everyone on the Blues is getting hurt, and making the playoffs is no longer a foregone conclusion.
Throw in the fact that our parents think we’re all failures in life, and crying yourself to sleep is a nightly occurrence. And what better way to keep the tissues nearby, than storing them in this homemade Cardinal Tissue Box:
You know those old ladies who are knitting in the 100-level seats at Busch and the Dome? Apparently this crap is the finished product. I’m sure you go here all the time, but here’s the description from handmadecatalog.com:
This tissue box is hand crocheted with red and yellow yarn He is holding a yellow bat with a white baseball at the end
This symbol can be seen on their jackets and on the signs at the bus stops in STL
There is a drawstring on the bottom for easy insertion of a new box Fits over a boutique tissue box
The tissues come out behind the head
Do you need to have a couch from 1968 to complete the set? Oh, and bus stops? We don’t have buses in St. Louis, come on.
I’m sure there’s a bulk price for all the smartass, whiny Cardinal fans on the STL Today message boards. Or maybe you’d like to drop nine bucks on your grandma for the first time ever. Either way, this crappy Cardinal gift comes with the highest of recommendations from us.
You might have missed the weekend installments of Cardinal Crapmas:
Read Day 7 HERE
Read Day 6 HERE