The Sports Daily > Cards Diaspora
The Royals Always Put Their Money to Good Use

In big press conference news, Rick Ankiel met with the Kansas City media after officially inking his multi-million dollar mega deal earlier today.

You know, because press conferences are necessary for one year contracts…especially ones worth a little over $3 million. An operator is standing by, Royals fan – buy your tickets now!

Speaking of, they really need your money now. Look at the fancy technology that Ankiel is sitting in front of. It’s like a vortex of crappy .230 free-swingers wearing Mark Gubicza’s jersey. Even when the Royals are trying not to look like a collection of dumbasses, they still fail. I think a banner with your logo and a couple ads will be good enough, guys. Or Ankiel’s phone number for the ladies? Or even a sweet screen saver (pipes?). Anything but the same exact thing that all six dudes at the presser are falling asleep to.

For reference, Adam Kennedy (3 yrs, $10 million) and Kip Wells (1 yr, $4 million) signed in late 2006 in front of what appears to be my High School library.

Royals beat the Cardinals again. (shakes fist at sky) Denkinger!!