The Sports Daily > Cards Diaspora
The Tenth Day of Cardinal Crapmas

I don’t want to get anyone riled up a few days before Christmas, but a certain #29 in this town might throw a fit when seeing today’s Cardinal Crapmas item.

Take a look at the happiest Chris Carpenter bobblehead you’ll ever see:

NO! That’s NOT Chris Carpenter! (It actually looks like Scott Rolen, but that’s not my point)

The Carp I know doesn’t have a “Hey fancy boyyysssss!!” happy smiley look on his face. The Carp I know is a role model; a jerk who does stuff like this:

So whatever assclown company made this bobblehead needs to put them all in a wood chipper and start over. We want authentic Carp bobbleheads with him holding decapitated grizzly bear heads and beef jerky. And maybe some lazers shooting out from his eyes, that’d be kind of cool.