The Sports Daily > Cards Diaspora
Top Five LOL Moments From Last Night’s Game

It’s the return of the #LOLCards! Where getting a guy home from third with no outs turns out to be a FAIL. 

Let’s go through the Top 5 LOL Moments from last night’s game…

1) David Freese getting held at third, leaving first and third with no outs. Jose Oquendo must have forgot the #LOLCards can’t do things like “score runs” or “hit a sacrafice fly”. Or maybe he had a nice sausage dinner lined up at Karl Ratzsch’s and knew a tie game was going screw his reservations. Either way, MISSION SUCCESS. The Cardinals limped off the field as losers again.

2) Lance Berkman, again, needing only a sacrafice to get the job done. Strikes out on a check swing, blows his lid, gets ejected and kills another rally. As a special bonus, after the replay was shown from 8 angles, turns out he went. Now dropping his average to below .080 against the dominant Randy Wolf.

3) Tyler Green. If this guy goes on Survivor, I’m betting him as the heavy favorite. Most guys don’t last through one of his months in the Bigs, but Tyler is working on getting to his fifth month of this season. At least he’s one of the very few Cardinals that can bunt.

4) Mike Matheny is like Santa… but with outs. My personal favorite was having Yadier Molina (the Cardinals most sure contact hitter) try to lay down a bunt in the top of the ninth. Somebody got in his ear and he pulled it off in time for Yadi to single to center field, but WOW… Mike LOVES giving up outs. It’s OK to let hitters hit my man.

5) Dan and Al realizing that the narrative about Monday’s game being the one that turned the season around is being usurped by the reality that this is a .500 team as it currently stands. Albert Pujols isn’t walking through those doors to carry this team through a rough patch. And, so far, we don’t have any volunteers to pick up the slack.

Oh, the #LOLCards are back, baby. Feckless. Futile. Full of loss.