The Sports Daily > Cards Diaspora
You Look Better When I’m Drunk

Quick question, Cardinals: just what in the fuck is going on out there?

So the Astros are pretty terrible. In fact, so terrible that their clean-up hitter chokes up on the bat regardless of the count. So terrible that their best player, Roy Oswalt has considered retirement in lieu of a 15-18 million dollar per year contract. So terrible that one scout was ask to comment on the talent level of this team and he pulled a brown sack out of his back pocket and vomited before handing it to reporters.

Summation: Houston Sucky.

So, obviously, we got Loshed all over our faces last night. And Brendan Ryan collected 2 more errors, threatening to become the only MLB player with more errors than hits through 30 games played. And Matt Holliday came up small in the clutch again.

The White Tie Affair… take it away!