The Sports Daily > Colts Authority
Embarrassing Myself

It happens every time. I swear to myself that I won’t do it, but I just can’t help myself. EVERY time the Cubs and Reds play in Cincinnati, I get in an insane shouting match. Despite the fact that most of my closest friends are Cubs fans and go to the game with me, I can’t stop myself from screaming myself hoarse at the idiots who start chanting “Let’s Go Cubs!”

Now there’s background to this:

1. I HATE people who cheer for the visiting team. When I go to another team’s stadium, I do not cheer for my team. I just write snarky articles about it later. Why? Because you pay good money to watch your team. You shouldn’t have to put up with drunk aholes from other teams yelling and screaming, especially when…

2. THEIR TEAM HASN’T WON JACK CRAP IN 100 YEARS. Cub fans show up everywhere no matter how bad the Cubs are and start acting like they own the place. They organize cheers and like idiots. This drives me nuts. Listen, if your team has a bunch of titles, or some illustrious history, then fine. I guess you’ve earned the right to be smug. Cub fans DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT to come and cheer for their club. They should be embarrassed by the Cubs. This is more or less the content of my rant every time. Monday, I basically just started chanting “One Hundred Ye-ars” while the Cub fans were acting up.

3. I have an almost clinical inability to avoid engaging stupid people in debates.

So the 9th inning comes up on Monday, and Cubs start to do business. A bunch of drunk Cub fans (I know that’s redundant) start cheering. I start screaming. I acted like a fool in front of my friends (all Cub fans) including one who brought his 5 year old son (sorry Camden). My friend Nate commented: “Imagine what he’d be like if he drank!”. Now in my defense, I don’t drink and don’t use profanity (unless freaking counts…as in YOU’VE HAVEN’T WON ANYTHING IN 100 FREAKING YEARS! SHUT UP!), but still. I really have to get a grip. That being said, last place or not, it’s our house and I won’t give it up so easily.

My other thoughts from that game that don’t involve me acting like I’m 5:

Cueto has amazing stuff. He was never really on that game and didn’t look comfortable, but his stuff was so good that it made it tough for the hitters even when he wasn’t at his best. That’s what you want to see from a pitcher. I love Johnny Franchise.

Adam Dunn’s 463 foot HR was incredible. I thought it would land in Kentucky.

Felix Pie broke my heart by stealing one from Jr. For some reason, I’ve seen about a dozen Dunn HRs, but only one Jr. shot.

I love winning series from the Cubs. It makes my week.

Update: almost if on cue, as soon as I link to “Our day in the Hole”, ESPN the magazine publishes a piece on David Garrard and spends a couple of paragraphs on how no one cares about the Jags. Classic.

Demond Sanders: You are fairly embarrassing sometimes, but we all have our lesser moments. I remember when Indiana lost to Iowa in the Big Ten Tournament at Conseco on a last second shot by former Hoosier star Luke Recker. On my way out of the building I screamed at an eight-year old Buckeye fan with a huge grin on his face. I can’t remember exactly what I said, but it wasn’t pretty. That punk kid didn’t even have a dog in the fight.

I actually think you are worse at the movies than at sporting events. I’m really glad Tobey Maguire was not present at our screening of Spiderman 2. If there is something you don’t like you aren’t afraid to say it. I think you get that from our dad who frequently heckles the preacher on Sunday morning.

And let me just say that David Garrard calling his annual colonoscopy “wonderful” was the low point of my day. . .