Hello, Colts fans. The key to football is to score more points than the other guys.
I know this and you know this, but our friends in the media need something to talk about in order to justify their jobs. Earlier this summer, a certain baseball announcer acknowledged to me that yes, I was right, the team really does just need to score more than the other guys. Yet each time a game rolls around, there he is giving us keys to the game that never include the bit about scoring.
As he is a highly-compensated professional, I figure that the creation of keys that turn no locks must be a growth industry. So now, it’s my turn.
Who: The Indianapolis Colts vs the Seattle Seachickens.
What: Week 4 of the 2017 NFL season.
Where: CenturyLink Field, Seattle, WA.
When: 8:30 PM Eastern, Sunday, October 1st. TV: NBC. Ugh. Not only is Andrew still out and it’s a tough road game, but it’s in prime time and we’re stuck with Cris Collinsworth. My TV is going to be muted early. If there’s a positive to this NFL Sunday, it’s that there are some good match ups elsewhere. You can find those here.
Why the Colts will score more than the other guys:
1. The more things change the more they stay the same..or something.
The Colts have started the season with 4 opponents who’ve all moved around in their history. Unlike the Rams, Cardinals, and Browns, who’ve all had fans screwed by their owners moving the team, Seattle has been in the same spot since they joined the league in 1976. Except they haven’t. During their first season, they were in the NFC West. After that season, they moved to the AFC West, something that was arranged by the NFL when they awarded Seattle a franchise. In 2002, they returned to the NFC West as part of the league’s realignment to give each division four teams. If you ever want to win a beer at a bar, ask someone to tell you which team is the only one to have appeared in both the AFC and NFC Championship Game. Thank the Seachickens later.
Now, what does any of this have to do with Sunday? Hell if I know. I just find it fascinating.
As has often been the case during the #ChuckNay era – please end this, soon Jim – the Colts come out and play well against a superior opponent, grabbing a 28-24 lead after Brisket finds Jack Doyle in the back of the end zone. But there’s still 2 minutes left. Uh oh, Russell Wilson’s getting another chance.
Wilson deftly moves the Seachickens into scoring position, but the Colts stiffen up and force a 4th down from the 1 with 26 seconds left. Everyone in the stadium thinks Chris Carson – 102 yards rushing at this point – is getting the ball. He has to, right? But no, it’s a pass. Wilson tries to hit Paul Richardson on a quick in route, but it’s read perfectly and picked off by Nate Hairston. Colts win! Colts win!
In the booth Collinsworth can’t believe the call. For the 2nd time in his life, I agree with him.
2. The choke heard ’round the world.
The Colts are clinging to a 14-12 lead with 3 minutes left, but Seattle is on the move. On 3rd down and 3, John Simon flushes Wilson out of the pocket towards the Seattle sideline. Malik Hooker gives chase as well, and they meet at Wilson. The hit pops the ball loose, and Seattle recovers, but the force sends Hooker into the Seattle bench, where he knocks over a furiously gum chewing Pete Carroll. The collision causes Carroll to choke on his gum, and he can’t talk. Replay shows Wilson’s knee appears to be down before the ball comes out, but in his confusion Carroll is unable to find his challenge flag, and the Seachickens punt the ball away.
On the ensuing drive, Brisket ignores #ChuckNay and elects to go for it on 4th and 1 from midfield. He airs one out, and TY Hilton beats Richard Sherman again for a 47 yard completion. TY waves goodbye to the Seattle fans. Colts win! Colts win!
3. Colts cheerleader Jessica G
Jessica attended a concert last night, where no doubt she sang along with great gusto
and totally in key. I don’t know what she’s doing today, but I’m pretty sure she agrees with either or both of the scenarios I presented above, so the Colts will win.
You know what? How about another?
Whew. *fans self*
Colts 15, Seachickens 14