Picture this: I’m sitting at home enjoying a delicious Narragansett tall boy when I get a text message from one of my buddies that reads “Tomorrow’s game is such a trap game”. I sat there for a minute and re-read the text message. Trap game? I asked myself wondering if said friend knew what a trap game was. What the hell are the Bruins looking forward too? The Islanders on Saturday night? I doubt it. Anyways, the Bruins are hosting the pathetically bad Blue Jackets tonight at the Garden. I don’t know what’s worse, that people are paying to see this game or that leading up to it everyone will have to listen to Dale Arnold wail on about a potential trade involving Tuukka Rask and Rick Nash. I’d go for the latter because Dale Arnold has made NESN’s broadcast about as bad as Columbus’ goaltending situation. God, I hate Dale Arnold. I hated him when he called Bruins games on NESN and I hate him even more now. Come back K-Tapp. I don’t even care if you don’t wear low-cut, revealing things anymore. You were bubbly, peppy and vibrant. You’re my anti-Dale and I miss you tremendously.
On a bright note, if you’re attending the game tonight then there’s a good chance you’ll see the Bruins extend their winning streak to seven games. The Blue Jackets are bad. I mean, they are baaaaaaaad. They’re like the 2003 Detroit Tigers (43-119), the September edition of the 2011 Boston Red Sox, the NBA, Gisele Bundchen’s face and Tom Brady’s fear of waterslides all rolled into one. They make Joe Paterno look like a shining beacon of hope. They suck more than Jerry Sandusky at a Chuck E. Cheese.
Out of 41 goalies in the NHL who qualify for goals against average, Steve Mason is 40th! In 16 starts the guy has a GAA of 3.63 and is only ahead of “The Monster” Jonas Gustavsson and that’s because Gustavsson can’t catch a cold. Guy can’t stop a nosebleed. He’s so fucking bad and two years ago, Leafs fans were jerking off over this guy. You would’ve thought that they collectively won the lottery and were going to move to the Galapagos and make a shrine out of him that consists of mud and timber.
And what’s even worse for Mason? His save percentage is last in the league. That’s right folks: DEAD-FUCKING-LAST with an .875 save percentage. I think I could must a better save percentage than that. Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell’s wrong with Mason? Is he a certain kind of color blind where he can’t see something black? It’s clear he can’t stop the puck. Guess that Calder Trophy is the only thing he’s going to be sleeping with at night and it’s a long shot that even happens.
On the other side of the ice, well, you know the story. The Bruins have been boom-bashing opponents in the month of November. Both Tim Thomas and Tuukka Rask have been on their game and every phase of the Bruins game is clicking at this point. Tuesday night’s win against the Devils was a hard-nosed, gritty win. They’re winning games in a multitude of different ways and getting contributions from almost everyone on the roster.
Tonight is another one of those games where the Bruins should shit stomp the team they’re playing. Columbus is last in the NHL with 3.71 goals against per game and 27th overall in goals scored per game at 2.24. The Bruins are the complete opposite. They’re 3rd in the NHL with 3.44 goals scored per game and 9th in goals against per game, giving up 2.38 a contest.
Hey, at least they have Rick Nash!
After the jump, more preview goodness...
Projected Line Up:
Milan Lucic- David Krejci- Nathan Horton
Brad Marchand- Patrice Bergeron- Tyler Seguin
Benoit Pouliot- Chris Kelly- Rich Peverley
Jordan Caron- Gregory Campbell- Shawn Thornton
Zdeno Chara-Johnny Boychuk
Dennis Seidenberg-Joe Corvo
Steven Kampfer-Adam McQuaid
Radio: 98.5 The Sports Hub
Game Day Video: This is probably the best thing Steve Mason will ever do.