20. Boston Bruins @ Buffalo Sabres aka THE GAME AFTER MILAN LUCIC MURDERED RYAN MILLER!

A week ago Buffalo was all up in arms because Ryan Miller sauntered out of his crease and was love-tapped by Milan Lucic. Miller, who was apparently trying out for the US Olympic Diving Team, flopped to the ice and “banged his head so hard he got a concussion”. Now Miller is hurt and Sabres fans are calling for Lucic’s head and the Bruins have transformed into a team that has broken off 9 straight wins and in doing so have also become the villains of the NHL. The bWo is here people. Embrace it and embrace glory.

I can see why the Sabres would be mad. They spent a shit load of money this offseason for a guy like Ville Leino (6 years, 27 million dollars [$4.5M a year for you dolts out there]). Leino has been on fire in Buffalo. In 20 games, he has 2 goals, 3 points and is a lustrious -6. Outstanding. He makes more than Milan Lucic (4.083M a season) and has about one-fifth of the production. I’m glad you guys have a new owner who doesn’t mind spend out of the ass because his eye for talent is clearly lacking. Enjoy Christian Erhoff for the next 100 years because the 90 years after he’s done playing, he’ll still be haunting Buffalo. Guy’s a scrub.

I can see why the Sabres fans are mad at Bruins fans. I’d be mad too if I haven’t won anything in my life. In fact, my friend Xzibit has stopped by:

Exciting. Truthful. Rich. Thanks bud.

This team hasn’t won shit. They can’t even win those participatory trophies that the loser kids get for just showing up to little league. You know those little ribbons that say “You’re the best!” with an over-exaggerated thumbs up to make kids feel good because they’re an unathletic piece of shit? Yup, Ryan Miller couldn’t win that if he tried. Just like he couldn’t win a gold medal. And a playoff series against Boston. And get laid.

So all that shit happened against the Sabres and everyone in the NHL cried that Lucic wasn’t suspended. The best thing about this is most of the bullshit came from Montreal and Vancouver, where the incident didn’t happen and where either of the teams hailed from. These fan bases just want to bitch and moan despite having their own problems. I didn’t forget about Alex Burrows biting Patrice Bergeron and I didn’t forget about Erik Cole running Enroth two days after the Lucic/Miller incident. Apparently everyone else did.

How surprising right? Now Buffalo fans are saying that the Sabres should run Tim Thomas. You know I say? Go ahead. Last night Thomas took a skate to his glove hand and didn’t bat an eye. Didn’t shed a tear. Shit, Thomas probably didn’t even feel it because the skate dissolved upon impact on Thomas’ body. So yeah Buffalo, go ahead and run Tim Thomas because it’ll be the last thing that ever happens to one of your shitty, goony, AHL players. Guaranteed it ends up like this:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTME67tnZJE&w=560&h=315]
or this:
 
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txBVdz6UO3U&w=560&h=315]
or even this:
 
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3ICqOVzhRQ&w=560&h=315]
It’s obvious that Timmy doesn’t mind getting a little physical, unlike his Vezina winning counterpart who probably cries when he falls off of his bike.

After the jump, more Buffalo bashing and maybe a game preview? Maybe…

I guess I can’t fault Buffalo, the team, their fans or the city for being a little ornery. Look at what else they have to cheer for? The Buffalo Bills are garbage reincarnate…and that’s coming from a Bills fan. They overachieved with a 5-1 start and have ridden the suck stick ever since. Shit, the Bills play a game in Toronto because no one in Buffalo shows up to these fucking things. Other than a shitty football team and an even shittier hockey team, Buffalo has nothing. No baseball team. No basketball team. They can’t even get a WNBA franchise. Those manish-ladies probably looked around at the Buffalo nightlife, which is deader than an 80 year old’s dick, and said no thanks.

Sabres Projected Roster:

Suck-Suck-Vanek
Suck-Suck-Overpaid Suck
Suck-Suck-Suck
Goat Fucker-Suck-AHL Goon

Cone-Cone
Turnstile-Cone
Cone-Cone

Good backup goalie
Vagina

Game Day Links

• The Sabres suck
• The Sabres really suck
• Ryan Miller sucks
• Lindy Ruff opens new business
• Ryan Miller will never do this

Game Day Video

Enjoy always being in second Miller.