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49. Carolina Hurricanes @ Boston Bruins. The Return of Captain Planet

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Brendan Shanahan is like the smog in FernGully. He tried his best to smother the Bruins lately, with either terrible suspensions or the lack of suspensions for questionable hits. Now, one of Shanahan’s biggest Bruins atrocities was suspending Andrew Ference. That is probably the most homerish thing I’ve ever said, but it’s true. A guy who has never been suspended and only fined once was suspended for a boarding call. That same day, Henrik Zetterberg did the same hit on a guy from Columbus and didn’t even get a phone call. It’s fucking bullshit. During the pre-All-Star game shit on NHL Network, Shanahan was saying how players have been thanking him for the job he’s been doing. They must really be shoving their nose right up his cornhole because some of those suspensions are pure and utter bullshit. 

Well, just like in FernGully, the smog is wrong and our lovely captain is back. No, not Zdeno Chara you silly gooses, Andrew Ference also known as Captain Planet. It’s good to have Ference back in the lineup tonight because Steve Kampfer wasn’t doing it for me. I’ll leave my true feelings at the door because last time I expressed my opinion one of our readers called me a Habs fan. Anyways, Ference is back in the line-up which means Boston is almost at full strength. 

captain planet

Boston should roll Carolina. 

Let’s not kid ourselves here. Boston is one of the better teams in the NHL, currently ranked second in the Eastern Conference, while Carolina is one of the worst. Carolina is last in the Eastern Conference and 28th overall in the NHL. When you look at the Hurricanes statistically on offense, they’re not as bad as you would think. They’re currently 17th overall in goals scored per game (2.54) but their defense is terrible. The Hurricanes are 28th overall in the NHL in goals allowed per game, giving up 3.08 per game. So it’s obvious as to why the Bruins should steamroll this team, isn’t it?

So you know what happens tonight? The Bruins lose like 1-0. 

Of course, we can ask Abe Lincoln what he thinks about the whole situation:

abe
I doth declare: “Fuck you ‘Canes”...


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Projected Lines

I doubt Nathan Horton plays tonight, which means the lines will remain relatively the same. Steve Kampfer will be scratched (or sent to Providence). 

Milan Lucic – David Krejci – Rich Peverley
Brad Marchand – Patrice Bergeron – Tyler Seguin
Beniot Pouliot – Chris Kelly – Zach Hamill
Dan Paille – Greg Campbell – Shawn Thornton

Zdeno Chara – Johnny Boychuk
Dennis Seidenberg – Joe Corvo
Adam McQuaid – Andrew Ference

Tuukka Rask
Tim Thomas


Media

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Do You Know The Enemy?

The Shutdown Line

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Game Day Video

The best part of this video is the Asian guy.