65. Boston Bruins at Toronto Maple Leafs. Now with 100% more waffles!

Alan Draper

Sports Editor

March 6 2012 4 min read

A two game losing streak. That’s what we’re dealing with today. Well that and the news that Marty Turco, at 67 years old, will be donning a black and gold sweater for the first time in his career. After a fantastic overtime win against the Devils, the Bruins dropped both of their weekend games, losing to the Rangers (which is respectable given they are 1st in the East) and the Islanders (fuck my face, just kill me now). Now the Bruins have the (dis)pleasure of playing the Leafs in Toronto, a team that’s hunting for a playoff spot.

There is a silver lining here: The Leafs are still on the outside looking in.

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That alone may be worth it. The last thing the NHL needs is for the Leafs to be in the playoffs and for a Toronto fan to be happy. Happiness and Toronto doesn’t exist outside of the Hockey Hall of Fame. Seriously. Their NBA team couldn’t defeat the LA Sparks, their baseball team will never do anything in the AL East because the Yankees and Red Sox piss money and their hockey team, despite an undying passion and love for the game from its fans, can’t get out of it’s own way. Pick a position. Defense? LOL. Goal tending? Yeah right.

I also believe that Phil Kessel in the playoffs is like praying to Satan. The bad one, not the Slovakian hockey prince with the same last name.

Hopefully the Bruins can turn it around tonight. They usually play well against the Maple Leafs. Here’s a quick breakdown of the season series vs. Toronto:

October 20, 2011: 6-2 win at home
November 5, 2011: 7-0 win in Toronto
November 30, 2011: 6-3 win in Toronto
December 3, 2011: 4-1 win at home

Boston is 4-0 against the Maple Leafs, have scored 23 goals and have only allowed 6. This, of course, was during the Bruins’ hot streak where a team of Wayne Gretzkys couldn’t have beaten the Bruins. Things are a little different months later. The Bruins can’t string two wins together if someone had their collective mother’s hanging over a vat of acid. Their poor mothers would die horrible, acid-related deaths and no one would be able to save them. There’s only one man who can save them, but he’s hurt.

Seriously though, the Bruins need to play their game tonight and push the Maple Leafs around. Toronto isn’t a tough team and the Bruins should be able to out hit them. If they play their usual defensive style of a game, then it will negate any speed the Maple Leafs and conjure up. Of course, the Bruins would also have to show up and that’s really hit or miss lately. Hopefully Gustavsson is in net tonight.

waffles

OTTAWA SENATORS UPDATE:

Luckily for the Bruins, the Senators don’t seem to want the Northeast Division. With Boston losing back to back games over the weekend, the Senators had a shot to gain some ground by defeating the Florida Panthers on Sunday. The good news is that they lost 4-2 and are still behind Boston by 3 points. The Senators play the Lightning tonight.

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