The Sports Daily > Days of Y'Orr
AHL Star Marchand Dazzles in NHL Debut. BRUINS LOSE.

Despite the loss, we were REALLY impressed with the new guy Brad Marchand. Two goals in his first game of the season was pretty impressive.

Huh? He's… been on the team? Same Marchand from last year and the year before? Get outta here. Really!? 

Hell of a game by the kid. Hopefully this is the start of a turnaround.

Other than that there wasn't much great about this game. The Bruins lost to the NHL equivalent of dog shit on your shoe. It's okay though. Bruins just aren't used to being in the basement and got confused when they went to Buffalo.

Also, today is Shawn Thornton's hearing to reduce his suspension. Good luck buddy!

– Brad Marchand finally showed up in a big way. HUGE way. Like, a Chara's dong huge way. Two goals and was engaged all night. Both goals were gorgeous too. GORGEOUS.

We're not ready to jump on the "MARCHAND IS BACK" bandwagon because, you know, it was one game. But if he builds on that it'll be like the Bruins getting an injured player back. Kid was a beast though.

– Bergeron was Bergeron. Sometimes we take for granted the perfection we get to watch every day from this man. He's so glorious.

– David Warsofsky didn't look too shabby! Seemed to have good instincts and made great decisions in his limited ice time. Good thing the Bruins D pool is so deep. Plus it's easy to support a Waltham boy because Waltham is awesome.

– We don't live in Buffalo.

– Buffalo's coach kind of looks like an Eskimo and Eskimos are awesome. Except for Eskimo kisses. What's with this nose rubbing shit? Use your mouths like adults.

– Buffalo construction workers reported a missing road cone, but luckily someone found John Scott up in the press box where he belongs.

– The Lucic-Krejci-Iginla line was EVERYWHERE but couldn't break through. They were still awesome though.

– Multiple media outlets reporting that Julien has been dealing with an awful stomach bug and still coached. He may also have been watching replays of that wrap around goal Johnson let in and got sick. Either way, Julien showing his players that you have to forge on, even when you can't stop pooping.

– Johnny Destroychuk with a rare mistake that leads to a short handed break away goal. It's okay big guy, you might've been a -1 on that play, but you're still #1 in our hearts. He did have a sweet assist on one of Marchand's goals.

– Chad Johnson, buddy, cover the posts man. Come on. COME ON. Seriously. This goal should NOT have been scored. Blame the defense too. Lazy stuff.

You know who would've had that?

– Fraser and Foligno tried to erase the hate between the Bruins and Sabres by hugging it out. It did not work.

– Weber continues to be a giant coward. Must be taking tips from John Scott. Weber punches Lucic in the head from behind then holds on for dear life until the refs rescue him so Lucic doesn't end him. Shaggy and Scooby are braver than Weber.

– Ville Leino decided to show up for the Sabres, but only to show off his IMMENSE diving skills.

Take it away Dio!

– No idea what the Bruins D was doing here. No idea at all.

– Speed continues to kill the Bruins. Yup.

– Smith was a bit invisible for the B's but he's been great so far so whatever. You're awesome buddy.

– The Bruins lost to Buffalo. Seriously. BUFFALO?! Terrible, terrible team. Even more awful than the city itself, which is astonishingly hard.

– What is that rancid stench coming from the city of Buffalo?

– Why does Buffalo suck so much?

–  Can we just, like, sink Buffalo and just have a hole in upper New York?

– How about you go drink a tall glass of shut the hell up juice?