If you haven’t taken out your stereotypical red marker and circled February 28, 2011 – do it. We’ll wait, it shouldn’t take long.
:leaning back in chair:
:humming:
Oh good, you’re done! Why did you circle that date? It’s the NHL Trade Deadline dopey! Yes, 2/28/11 at 3pm is the NHL Trade Deadline and like everyone else in the world it’s time to me for dive in to Peter Chiarelli’s brain and figure out what the hell he’s going to do. He already picked up Chris Kelly from the Ottawa Senators for the Bruins second round pick in the 2011 NHL Entry Draft.
It has been reported that Chiarelli has a “List of 9” as in 9 defensemen that he believes could impact the Bruins chances at a Stanley Cup this season. Now, some of the guys on the “List of 9” are probably easy to figure out – guys like Tomas Kaberle from Toronto or Eric Brewer from St. Louis. Being the guy I am, I had to know about the other 7. I laid awake last night, looking up at my ceiling saying to myself “I need to find this list. Not just for me, but for the people who support the Bruins.”
We have to know what we’re dealing with.
Well folks, I can’t tell you that I dressed up as a cleaning woman and walked in to Chiarelli’s office while he was in the bathroom to steal the “List of 9”, but I can tell you that I have the list. Some of these are probably long shots, but with the right deal, I believe Peter can pull it off.
After the jump… we decipher Chia’s List of 9…
Please note: The “List of 9” is in no particular order.
9. Tomas Kaberle (Toronto Maple Leafs)
Contract: $4.25M for 2010-2011 then UFA
Season Stats: 57 games played, 3 goals, 34 assists, 37 points, plus/minus -2
Why He’d Be Good For The Bruins: Boston needs a puck moving defenseman – end of story. They needed one last year and failed to acquire one. They needed one in the offseason and failed to acquire one. They need one this year and as of this post have failed to acquire one.
Kaberle can move the puck well out of the zone and on the power play, something Boston has A LOT of trouble doing. His hockey IQ would make him one of the better defenders on the team and a pairing with Chara could make them one of the best pairings in the NHL.
8. The Hulk
Contract: Free transportation to and from the “Red Planet”.
Season Stats: 12 demolished buildings, 20 cars flipped, 2 dogs punted
Why He’d Be Good For The Bruins: Big, angry defenseman who can shut down forwards moving in to the zone. Great penalty (and people) killer who won’t take any guff. Not afraid to drop his Hummer sized gloves and throw an opponent through the building.
On the offensive end, Hulk possess little to no offensive ability but is able to move the puck out of the zone because he basically just picks it up and walks down the ice. Ability to strike fear into opposing goaltender…and coach…and fanbase.
7. Eric Brewer (St. Louis Blues)
Contract: $4.25M for 2010-2011 then UFA
Season Stats: 54 games played, 8 goals, 6 assists, 14 points, plus/minus +1
Why He’d Be Good For The Bruins: The guy can eat up minutes like a stereotypical Italian mobster at a stereotypical Italian restaurant eating spaghetti. This year he averages 22 minutes a game and his past four seasons have been just as good (21 minutes in 2009-2010, 25 minutes in 2008-2009, 24 minutes in 2007-2008 and 24 minutes in 2006-2007). All of those, except for the 21 minutes per game last season, was number one for St. Louis.
Outside of logging huge minutes the guy can move laterally, get the puck out of the defensive zone and has a bomb of a shot that can produce rebounds for teammates. His hockey I.Q. isn’t that of Kaberle’s but he’ll be able to provide a little offensive pop for the Bruins.
6. Chris Phillips (Ottawa Senators)
Contract: $3.5M for 2010-2011 then UFA
Season Stats: 57 games played, 0 goals, 4 assists, 4 points, plus/minus -27
Why He’d Be Good For The Bruins: Phillips has good hands and is able to move the puck out of the offensive zone quickly. His hockey I.Q. is pretty good and is able to make quick decisions on the fly. At 6′ 3″, he’s got a long reach which will help poking the puck away from forwards and he’s got a booming shot from the point that should lead to some tip-in goals.
5. Venom
Contract: Spider-Man’s head
Season Stats: 4 murders, 2 bank robberies, 10 plans foiled by Spider-Man, 4 kidnappings (all Mary Jane)
Why He’d Be Good For The Bruins: Large, suffocating player who can make forwards think he has trendills shooting out of his body. Has a mean streak, which can lead to a high amount of penalty minutes over the course of the season. Doesn’t mind dropping the gloves to defend his teammates. Will play good against Detroit, New York Rangers, Canadiens and Senators because of his hatred for the color red.
4. Keith Yandle (Phoenix Coyotes)
Contract: $1.2M for 2010-2011 then RFA
Season Stats: 58 games played, 9 goals, 38 assists, 47 points, plus/minus -1
Why He’d Be Good For The Bruins: Before you kill me, this is a total fan pick. I love this friggin guy. Grew up in the Boston area. One of the best skating defensemen in the NHL, has offensive tools most NHL defensemen don’t possess (also leads the NHL dmen in points) and also carries one hell of a mean streak at times. Contract is very cap friendly. Potential franchise-type defenseman.
3. Robyn Regehr (Calgary Flames)
Contract: $4.02M for 2010-2011, 2011-2012 and 2012-2013 then UFA
Season Stats: 56 games played, 1 goal, 14 assists, 15 points, plus/minus +13
Why He’d Be Good For The Bruins: Big, tough defenseman. Plays a very good one-on-one type of game on defense. Uses his size and toughness to shut down opposing forwards. Has a heavy shot from the point. Could pair well with a kid like Kampfer. Pretty mobile for a guy of his size.
2. Brent Seabrook (Chicago Blackhawks)
Contract: $3.5M in 2010-2011 then RFA
Season Stats: 56 games played, 4 goals, 27 assists, 31 points, plus/minus -3
Why He’d Be Good For The Bruins: Stable defenseman that has above average abilities in skating and passing. Good in his own zone. Solid two way defender who can shut down forwards in his own zone as well as provide offense from the point. Would pair well with Ference.
1. Mr. Fantastic (Fantastic Four)
Contract: 2 gallons of plutonium per month
Season Stats: 12 patents patented, 4 foilings of Dr. Doom, 1 marriage to Sue Storm
Why He’d Be Good For The Bruins: Has incredible reach. Able to move the puck out of the zone without much effort. Has the ability to twist and turn opposing team in to the ice. Insert other rubber related joke. Skates well and can QB a power play like no other. High hockey I.Q.
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