The Sports Daily > Days of Y'Orr
Bruins Steamroll Canucks; Tie Series 2-2

Before I get all in the recap like Val Venis, I would like to thank the cblog peeps for coming around. Your cheers are much appreciated. One of our readers, Garrett Breton, was last night 8 spoked salute. I met him at the Days of Y’Orr/Boston Sports Then & Now party and he’s a great dude. Congrats on being on the salute and thanks for risking your life to keep guys like DOY safe. Semper Fi, Marine.

Someone should tell the Vancouver Canucks that they’re in the Stanley Cup Finals. By the way they skated last night you’d think that this was game 65 and they already clinched their division. No heart, no passion, no emotion and it’s not surprising. The Canucks are twats, their coach is a giant twat, their captain is a red-headed twat and their goalie is a greasy twat. Alex Burrows is an untalented twat, Tanner Glass is a goony twat and Ryan Kesler is a yapping twat. In short, the Bruins dominated the Canucks.

They say a picture is worth 1,000 words, so I’d like to start my recap off with this:

Really that’s the only thing you need to know. That image of Thomas giving Burrows the “Popeye’s Chicken 2 piece combo” was 20 seconds or so of what Boston did to Vancouver all night. It started with Patrice Bergeron getting a cross check to the face when the puck dropped and unlike the Canucks, Patrice didn’t run his mouth. He continued playing at a high level, something that the likes of Ryan Kesler hasn’t done since the San Jose Sharks series.

11:59 into the game, Rich Peverley found himself on a breakaway and squeaked the puck through Luongo’s greasy five hole for a 1-0 lead. The play happened because of an extra effort from David Krejci, who was able to poke the puck away from one of the Sedins while Peverley used his speed to blow past a Canucks defender and finished. Boom. Period. 1-0 Bruins.

Even with a 1-0 lead, the teams headed into the first intermission still in a game. The Bruins dominated the period, yes, but the Canucks were hanging around. That’s all they really need to do before their offense wakes up, right? Wrong.

Enter the second period. At 11:11, Michael Ryder pulled off an eyelash and made a wish to score a goal. Wish granted. After a Canuck misplay with the puck, Tyler Seguin sent a beautiful cross ice pass to Ryder, who was streaking up the left side and fired a shot at about the left face off dot high glove side over Luongo. Beautiful man. Just beautiful.

Not to be outdone, Moshmont scored less than two minutes later. Zdeno Chara does a great job of keeping the play alive and Bergeron is doing the dirty work in the corners. Puck ends up in a great position for Marchand, who burys it. 3-0 Bruins.

In the third period, Rich Peverley scored his second goal of the night. {Inner Don Cherry} LISTEN UP KIDS, GOOD THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU SKATE TO THE NET {/Inner Don Cherry}

Alright, that’s out of the way, now time for the good stuff. The Canucks are the biggest pussies I’ve ever had the displeasure of watching in my life. Worst than the actual team, the fans. A hockey website I frequent is full of Canucks fans who think they’re coaching the team are HORRIBLE. Anyways, fuck them. The diving from the Sedins is incredible. When the series started, I thought Vancouver was a hard working team. Boy was I wrong. They’re the fucking Montreal Canadiens of the West. Shitty fans and a bunch of cry babies. Chara said it best on the bench last night.

Maybe it’s not that Vancouver is playing bad but Boston is playing out of their minds good. Tim Thomas is a fucking stud. Vancouver couldn’t solve him if they bought the Tim Thomas strategy guide from Gamestop for $12.99. It’s a testament to how good he truly is, which is funny because no one ever gives him the respect he deserves. I’m sure Timmy is cool with that when he’s sleeping next to his multiple Vezina trophies and cheating on them with the Stanley Cup. Alain Vinaigrette can complain about Thomas all he wants, but the fact of the matter is that if he was given the choice between Timmy and Borat’s retarded, greasy cousin I’m sure he’d pick Thomas.

The Bruins head back to Vancouver with the series tied at 2 games a piece, but are they really tied? The first two games was a crap shoot and Vancouver luckily came away with those wins. Games three and four were a fucking beating that made Ike Turner pitch a pants tent, roll over in bed and slap the shit out of the pillow next to him for old time’s sake.

Oh and fuck you Thelma and Louise.