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Bruins Witch Trials

Boston Bruins witch trials
We’ve finally reached a point where any and all Bruins hits (regardless of how big/small) gets disected and scrutinized frame by frame.

And the ring leader isn’t even Chara or Lucic anymore. It’s David Krejci.

That’s right. Motherfucking David Krejci. The 6’0, 180lbs (with wet pads on, we assume) Czech center.

First the Winnipeg Trasher-Jets cried foul over this play.

HockeyBuzz (we know, right?) called it ” dirtier than a midget threesome in a Vegas cathouse. But no call if you can believe it and this is where the Bruins lose me.” Poor Jets fans haven’t seen NHL hockey in so long they don’t see a clean hit when they see it… nor do they see Stuart looking at Krejci coming in and then turning at the last second to protect the puck. Shit happens, cupcake.

And now Pittsburgh Penguin writers are crying over the fact that Sidney Crosby is out for two games (just as a precaution).

Look at which play(s) might’ve been the culprit… Apparently Krejci is also to blame… somehow…

They’re not pointing at this blindsided, open ice hit by Crosby’s own teammate, Chris Kunitz.

They’re pointing fingers at this play at the blue line, where Krejci presumibly elbowed Crosby, giving him that nice hickey under his eye.

From the HockeyWriters:

“It’s never easy to determine principal point of contact — especially watching the game in person or even a video without Brendan Shanahan’s super slo-mo camera angles — but Crosby was left with a visible mark on his right cheek after the play and took an opportunity to remind Krejci what happened later in the first period.”

We don’t remember the play and the video is shit quality, but it looks like Krejci’s arms and elbows are down and at his side the entire time (definitely below head height). If anything, it looks like a shoulder or back that hit Crosby. Either way, he kept playing and that Kunitz hit was 100x more vicious. Pens fans are just in denail... or at least some of them.

One of the Penguin announcers was bitching about the accidental Paille-Geno collision, too. Mostly ’cause Paille had a cage on.

It’s a goddamn witch trial in the NHL. Any hit by Boston players is illegal and everyone should be suspended. We’re surprised no one’s bitched about some of Boychuk’s latest hits.

Here are some other devious things Krejci as done (most of these are from Greg), #bruinswitchtrials:

– David Krejci hit Howie Morenz
– “David Krejci” is Czech for “lucifer, king of the underworld.” @sarah_connors
– David Krejci forged the One Ring in the fires of Mount Doom.
– David Krejci taught Matt Cooke everything he knows
– David Krejci was the second gunman on the grass knoll @AntiHeroV
– David Krejci wears a Frankenjersey made up of two David Krejci jerseys
– David Krejci is why Tyler Seguin was late for breakfast
– David Krejci asks himself for retweets on his birthday.
– Steroids take David Krejci to bulk up
– Nuclear weapons spelled backwards reads “David Krejci”
– The video game series “God of War” was invented using David Krejci’s highlight reel
– David Krejci created AIDs

For more, just check Greg’s timeline.