Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott

We now take you live to Days of Y’Orr GM Patrice Purrgeron’s press conference in progress…..

 Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
…and the North East Division is changing. Brian Burke continues to refuse to change his strategy and make the Maple Leafs a playoff worthy team. The Ottawa Senators are putting all their faith in a defenseman who is on the ice for just as many points as he scores. 

The Montreal Canadiens have re-signed Carey Price, ensuring the North East sees six more years of intense chain smoking douchebaggery. And the Buffalo Sabres are signing terrible to mediocre “tough guys” in an effort to compete with our dear, dear Boston Bruins after Milan Lucic ran the ho train right through Ryan Miller.

Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
GM Patrice Purrgeron’s press conference continues after the jump…..

Buffalo is trying to intimidate us. We knocked them around on the score board, we punched their faces off and sent Ryan Miller crying all the way to the injured reserve list with a Mike Ribeiro-like fake injury. They think signing a couple of agitators to go with resident coward and animal rapist Patrick Kaleta will throw us off our game. They think that by their powers combined…..

Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
… that they will be a Stanley Cup team. How does their GM still have a job?

They are still NOTHING to the Bruins. They are the ant the Bruins crush with their boot.

A behemoth who’s only “talent” is that he’s tall and a guy who turtles as soon as someone yells FIGHT are supposed to launch the Sabres ahead of the Bruins? Nevermind Buffalo’s overrated, mentally unstable goalie and their roster of over paid morons who wouldn’t know the Stanley Cup if Brett Hull presented it to them.

But hey, if it makes the fans feel better go for it. The citizens of Buffalo have shown a tendency to be gullible and stupid.

But we’re not going to pretend this didn’t have an impact on the Bruins locker room as well. You should’ve seen the looks on everyone’s faces when I gathered them all to break the news of the super awesome Buffalo signings….. 

Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
Even the rookie was laughing! That’s how “intimidating” this Buffalo roster is. Fans from Buffalo talk about how much the Bruins “suck” and how they’re big tough meanies but then cheer when their GM tries to create a team in the Bruins mold. Sure, the Sabres have some new players but the only thing that is really changing is the faces the Bruins are caving in six games a year. We’ll take this fight card any day of the week.

Buffalo Sabres add John Scott, Steve Ott
So, in conclusion… Buffalo… my true thoughts about your “bold” moves…

LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Oh BuffaLOL.  

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