Days of Y’Orr beat reporter and General Manager Patrice Purrgeron’s phone has been blowing up the past few weeks as he explored the free agent market and tried to work out deals with other GMs for trades.
Several days ago, talks with one particular free agent heated up, and apparently Mr. Purrgeron was able to strike a deal. We now take you live to the press conference.
After the jump, thanks to Purrgeron’s expert negotiations, Days of Y’Orr welcomes another staff member…..
“Thanks, guys. Things have been going well here at Days of Y’Orr, but like any good team we’re always on the lookout for talent. The opportunity came up to get an established player to skate for us and I would’ve been a fool to NOT look into it.
“After some discussion, we were able to come to an agreement, and myself and the rest of the Days of Y’Orr staff are pleased to welcome Boston’s angriest fan, Greg Ezell.”
“Greg will now be taking some of your questions.”
1) You could’ve signed anywhere, why DOY?
Well when my contract ran up with my other team, I figured it was time to test the market. In my mind, I didn’t want to sign anywhere other than with DOY. This is a close knit group who knows that they’re doing and displays passion and dedication on a daily basis. The moment I hit the market, I knew where I wanted to go. Plus Justin, Pizz and Jon are good dudes.
2) How excited are you to join DOY?
I’m very excited. Like I mentioned earlier, the guys in the locker room are focused on one thing. The thing that makes me really excited about joining DOY is that Friday is movie and pizza night in the locker room. I’m excited to bring in a couple of pies and watch “The Princess Bride” with the group. I know they will find it both perplexing and romantic. I’m trying to keep things in perspective here.
3) What do you hope to bring to an already star-studded roster at DOY?
I’m not looking to be the leader, I’d rather be the role player. I want to be the Brad Marchand to their Shawn Thornton. The cousin Larry to their Balky Barokomous. The Brian Scalabrine to their 2008 Boston Celtics. All I want to do is continue the greatness that is Days of Y’Orr and I can do that. The guys know what they will be getting from me. Unlike Blake Wheeler, I’m willing to dig in the corners and throw my big body around. I also bring fantastic Perfect Strangers references to the table.
4) What were your talks with Purrgeron like?
I was nervous as hell. To show I came in peace, I brought offerings of dead mice and Meow-Mix. Once the gift was accepted – Mr. Purrgeron was a gracious and well groomed negotiator. We spoke on many topics, including playing with yarn and staring at fish in aquariums. The guy is truly fascinating and it was a pleasure to just sit there and pick his brain.
5) Is it true Purrgeron often stops to lick himself in meetings?
Yes. I didn’t want to be rude, so I just sat there licking my arm. Whatever works, right?
“Thanks Greg. Does anyone have any questions for me?”
1) Patrice, why Greg? Why now?
Quite frankly, the antics of the current Days of Y’Orr staff were growing old. I mean really, how many Lindy Ruff crying jokes or Blake Wheeler offsides jokes are they going to continue to make? We needed some new blood, someone to make these guys stop coasting.
2) How long have you had Greg on your radar?
We’ve been scouting him since last year’s trade deadline. There was also a Quebec blog scouting him in hopes they’d have someone ready to go if a team moved back there but he didn’t pass their “No Diques” test.
3) Any plans to send anyone down to the minors now that you’ve added Greg?
I told Jon that if he doesn’t stop with the creepy Shawn Thornton love I was going to send him down. But, no, seriously; no one is getting sent down.
“Enough questions. Time to go party. See you later bitches.”