Grinding Gears: Boston Bruins need to show consistency

Welcome to Grinding Gears. Last time Angry Bruins Fan, Greg, ranted about how the defense sorely needs some help. This week, he talks about the lack of consistency on the Bruins team while trying to make as many Rock references as possible.

For more Greg, follow him @PezDOY.

Finally….Greg…HAS COME BACK…to Days of Y’Orr [Rock reference: 1]

Today’s article is brought to you by the letter C.

We will be focusing on a C word (but not the C word): Consistency. Many of you may be sitting at your computer saying to yourself “Gee whiz Greg, what is consistency?” Well I’m here to address these issues.

Dictionary.com describes consistency as:

2/13: 3-2 Loss at Detroit
2/15: 4-3 Loss vs Toronto
2/17: 6-3 Win at New York Islanders
2/18: 4-2 Win at Ottawa

When Boston lost to Detroit in front of the millions (AND MILLIONS)  [Rock reference: 2] of hockey fans watching on NBC, it really wasn’t that big of a deal. Detroit is still considered the best in the NHL and for Boston to lose to them is like someone losing to their older brother. Sometimes it is expected. This loss, well, it was expected. Detroit doesn’t drop the gloves like Montreal or Dallas did. They skate hard, they skate fast and they play smart hockey. Boston has trouble with Western Conference teams (2-6-2 by my count) including sweeps by Los Angeles and Detroit.
 
The loss to Toronto though was soul crushing. Boston should have slapped the taste out of their mouth [Rock reference: 3] and instead the Leafs took that puck, shined it up real nice [Rock reference: 4], painted it blue, turned it sideways and shoved it straight up the Bruins’ collective candy asses [Rock reference: 5]. Seriously. The Bruins had multiple chances to put the Leafs away, but everything seemed to sway in favor of the bad guys.

1. Phil Kessel decided to show up against Boston for once. In nine previous meetings Kessel had zero goals and should’ve had CASPER stitched on to his nameplate (because he was a ghost. Jesus.) So what did he do on February 15? Oh nothing. Scored two power play goals, undressed Andrew Ference on goal number two and gave Leaf fans some shit talking credentials.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zigcbe3At7I&w=560&h=349]

2. Boston’s defense was atrocious. There were two instances in which Andrew Ference should’ve taken his equipment, thrown it into the nearest barrel and set it on fire. The first was Kessel’s second power play goal on the night, which is in the video above. The second time Mikhail Grabovski splits…yeah splits…Dennis Seidenberg and Andrew Ference and buries the game winning goal with under a minute left in the game.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euHWASc6jy4&w=560&h=349]

That basically sums up the Toronto game. A team that Boston should easily dispose of gets the better of them because of sloppy play, poor defense and a sub-par performance from Tim Thomas (gasp).

The Bruins are now 0-2 for the week and are heading to Long Island where the terrible Islanders actually have some life. Boston walked in there and they layeth the smacketh down [Rock reference: 6] on a bottom three team (in the NHL). From the get go there was no doubt that Boston was going to impose their will against a team they should beat (unlike Toronto where Boston played like a bunch of jabronies [Rock reference: 7]). When Blake Wheeler opens the game up with a goal (and then is traded the next day) you know it’s going to be a beating. Wheeler sucks. Have fun with that pussy in Atlanta.

Many, myself included, thought that Boston would bring that dominating attitude to Ottawa. It could have been the trades that day (Wheeler and Stuart heading to Atlanta, Joe Colborne headed to Toronto, Rich Peverley not making the trip) and the inclusion of Chris Kelley and Tomas Kaberle in to the lineup without any practice, but the Bruins looked terrible against an AHL team. You’d think that Boston would be a jabroni-beatin, pie-eatin, trail-blazin, eyebrow-raisin, faster than a cheatah, stronger than a buck, hottest thing to hit Canada because the Maple Leafs suck [Rock reference: 8] but they weren’t. Boston had a lot of trouble with Lehner and couldn’t get a puck past the kid until mid-way through the third period where they racked up three goals.

Mark that 2-2 in a four game stretch where the Bruins should have gone 3-1 and dominated Toronto and Ottawa. This is where the consistency becomes a huge issue. The end of February is approaching at speeds that would knock the Millennium Falcon out of the sky [Star Wars reference: 1] and the playoffs are only a couple months away. If the Bruins want to be the darling in the East and get past teams like Montreal, Pittsburgh and (gulp) Philadelphia then they need to start playing with more…consistency.

Now Boston travels to Calgary to face a red hot Flames team (pun, ftw) that just disposed of the Canadiens in the NHL Heritage Classic. The question is what Bruins team do we get. You would think that with three days off and another three days off after this game you’d get the Bruins team that shows up and gives a shit. Then again, who knows with these roody-poos. [Rock reference: 9]

– Random Thoughts-

– I love the Tomas Kaberle deal. A lot of people were killing Chiarelli for this. “But you gave up Colborne and a 1st for a rental!!!” Shut your mouth. Joe Colborne was the third center in Providence behind Jamie Arniel and Zach Hamil. The kid was expendable. Look at the centers before Colborne: Bergeron, Krejci, Seguin, Peverley, Kelley, Arniel, Hamil, Savard [if he ever plays again], and Campbell. I’m not to worried about losing Colborne (who has three goals in two games for the Marlies).

– This whole work visa thing is bullshit. Chris Kelley AND Tomas Kaberle had issues getting work visas to come play for the Bruins. Why is it that Craig Anderson, who was traded from Colorado to Ottawa, had no troubles getting a visa and was in Ottawa for their game Friday night against the Bruins? It’s all a conspiracy I tell you! GARY BETTMAN IS TRYING TO KEEP THE BRUINS DOWN! But seriously, what the fuck. How can an NHL player, who travels from Canada to the United States with regularity (and vice versa), have trouble obtaining a piece of paper saying that it’s okay to work in the US. Guess they must be….TERRORISTS (dun dun dun) [waits for hate mail].

IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-LA-LA-LA-LAAAOOOWW – what Ezell…Is…Cooking! [Rock reference: 10]