The Sports Daily > Days of Y'Orr
Here’s Your Daily “Alexander Ovechkin Is A Douchebag” Reminder

Surprisingly, Alexander Ovechkin played a good game last night. Well, unless you think one shot on goal is good. I’m glad that a lot of Caps fans are okay that “Ovechkin took the body real well last night” because what I want my prolific scorer to do is deliver more hits than shots on goal. I’m sure that will look good when they’re bounced in 5 games. 

So here’s your daily reminder of how big of a douchebag Ovechkin is. This time it comes from Men’s Journal, which for some odd reason, did a piece on Ovechkin where they basically just rub their journalistic tongues all over his wart-infested beanbag. It’s quite pathetic. They also, for some fucking reason, paired him with a smoking hot Australian model but the question is why? Probably because Ovechkin looks like a less-deformed version of Rocky Dennis. 

Also, how many watches does he need? I guess it doesn’t matter because he probably can’t tell time. 

Men’s Journal also asked him some “rapid fire questions” because he loves “fast cars and faster women” or whatever idiotic thing they said. Here’s his rapid fire answers: 

After the jump, an awful Q&A...

Goals or assists?
Stanley Cup or gold medal?
American or Russian hockey fans?
Because they’re more knowledgeable?
Because they’re Russian.
Moscow or DC?
Moscow in the summer.
Italian suit or jeans and T-shirt?
Blonde or brunette?
Jessica Alba or Megan Fox?
[Smiles] Definitely both.
Greatest player of all time?
Mario Lemieux.
Where do you rank?
No comment.
Your rival, Sidney Crosby: dislike him?
I love him.
You send him cards on his birthday?
I send him cards every day.
Your worst injury?
No injuries.
Five broken noses. But I finish the games each time.
Why don’t you have an agent?
Selfish. I don’t want to pay.
Do you remember your first million-dollar check?
[Big smile] Yes. Yes, I do.
How did it feel?
It felt heavy.
What’s the craziest thing you’ve done off-ice that you will talk about?
Nothing I will talk about.
You once told a pretty Russian journalist that sex before games helps you. True?
Yes, she was pretty.
What does the White House look like when you’re driving past it at 180 mph?
I don’t know. You have to look straight.
What do you love most about hockey?
What bores you more than anything?
This. [Smiles] Most boring thing ever.

What a cunt nugget.