The Sports Daily > Days of Y'Orr
Why Montreal Sucks: Volume I

Last night was another chapter in the best rivalry in all of sports, the Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins and the Montreal Canadiens.

We were going to do a normal recap but then Habs fans went off their rockers again calling the Bruins thugs and goons and cheaters and then got even crazier when the government spoke up and said the Canadiens should have a French speaking coach as a sign of respect to their fan base and should fire Randy Cunneyworth. Jokes.

Let us take you on a journey to a less than magical land called “1993” where Habs fans are still spouting off their storied history, most of which their current fan base wasn’t alive for, and claiming historical domination over the Bruins despite the fact that the tables have turned in recent years.

In the land of 1993 the Habs are still champions, the Bruins suck and Howie Morenz’s legs still work.

The same fan base that shows zero respect for the game of hockey, almost booed Carey Price out of town and is stuck in a time capsule pretending the Canadiens are still a dynasty.

We don’t need to remind you how stupid Habs fans are. They are all living in the past, clining to a storied history that doesn’t matter anymore and that most of them weren’t even alive to see. When the Bruins win a game they say “well historically we’ve won more games!” So? You’re not winning now.

After the jump…. just a few of the millions and millions of reasons why Montreal and their fan base suck…….

When the Canadiens win a meaningless regular season game they say “Hahaha see the Habs still own the Bruins!!!”

Yeah, except for this.

Oh, and this:

Of course if a Montreal fan sees this post we’re 99% positive they’ll jump in the comments section and make some comment about the Canadiens being the Bruins kryptonite in the playoffs in the 70s. We don’t care. We weren’t alive yet and likely neither were you. You people keep harping on this rich history without realizing the fact that you haven’t been relevant in almost 20 years. Why are we showing these clips? Because this is the two most RECENT match ups between the Bruins and Canadiens in the playoffs and the Canadiens were sent packing. We’re sure some “recent” clips from ten years ago will show up as “evidence” from Habs fans. Bring it because we don’t care you francophone bitches.

In October when the Habs won back-to-back games against the Bruins, Montreal was celebrating like they won the Cup, something most of their current citizens have never seen paraded through the streets. They put on their tin foil hats and claim the league favors the Bruins, one of their most popular excuses for their cowardly, week team always getting literally beat up.

Their claim that the Bruins are nothing but goons is also ironic because they celebrate Maurice Richard so much, a man who was known to loose his temper and beat people with his stick. He may have been talented but he was also the ultimate goon by current Montreal definitions.

The Bruins have won the last two games and Montreal fans are saying it doesn’t mean anything. I wonder if they ever realize how illogical and dumb they make their entire city look?

Montreal tried to climb out of the pit of the Northeast Division but Thomas and the Bruins kicked them back down.


You see, it doesn’t matter what has happened in history. Did the Bruins suck in the 40s? We don’t know because the entire DOY staff wasn’t even sperm yet. But if you’re a 15 year old Habs fan, you keep talking about Maurice Richard and Ken Dryden and playoff series from the 50s, 60s and 70s which doesn’t even matter because your parents hadn’t even downed a whole keg of shitty Molson and drunkeningly banged on the back of a moose and produced your sorry ass yet.

There is a difference between respecting a team’s history and pretending you were there or that it is still relevant. At Days of Y’Orr we admit, however, that we are also history buffs. For example, here is a little know fact: The broadway term ‘break a leg’ actually stemmed from Howie Morenz diving and pretending to be a hockey player back in the 30s on that unfortunate night.

Montreal fans claim to be the most knowledgable, respectful and devoted fans in the league yet they constantly boo their own players, throw stuff at their own players and boo at the referees even when the Canadiens take VERY obvious penalties. Apparently the folks up in Montreal don’t really know the rules of hockey.

They call for Lucic’s head when he runs a goalie but when Cole does the same thing they look the other way and say it was simply a hockey play. When Hal Gill smashes someone’s face into a stanchion they cheer and mock the other team. When Zdeno Chara beats some sense into Pacioretty they call the cops. Literally.

Currently their own government is trying to get involved in the team and demand that the Canadiens hire a French speaking coach. Really. We’re not making this up.

This is a franchise that is so incredibly dumb that they would choose a less talented coach that speaks French over a super talented coach that speaks only English. This is the exact reason many players don’t want to go there and why coaches who are actually good avoid that place like the plague. You haven’t won anything since 1993 and keep making the same exact mistakes because you’re all a bunch of morons.

We wouldn’t be shocked if Montreal passed a law requiring that anyone hired by the franchise has to speak French.

Hey Randy, why don’t you come down to Boston away from the suck fest that is Montreal. Maybe Julien will let you shine his shoes or something.

You people cry so much that you make Ryan Miller look like the toughest guy in the history of the world.

So keep coming at us and quoting your history and how you have more Cups. The Bruins are the current champs, not the Canadiens, and with the way their franchise is run, with influence from moronic fans and media, it is going to be a long wait for your next one because Montreal is terribly mismanaged.

Unlike your sorry ass franchise the Bruins finally wised up, made some moves and are set for years, which is a ton more than the Canadiens can say. Boston management doesn’t give a rat’s ass what Boston media says or wants, they do what is best for the team and as result they are a machine. In ten years maybe the tide will turn again and Montreal will be back on top. If that happens come chirp us. We’ll welcome it. But stop living in the past. Tim Thomas, Milan Lucic and Brad Marchand have been tea bagging the Canadiens and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

Your franchise sucks, your city sucks, your fans suck and your current players suck.

And enjoy the $1,839,285.75 that you’re paying per point for Scott Gomez this season.