While the Marlins and Mets could very well be holding up the N.L. East again in 2014, the Marlins' chances of winning something this season has reportedly gone up dramatically:
"Local 10 has learned that Marlins team president David Samson is one of the contestants for the upcoming season of Survivor. According to a source, Samson will be one of 18 contestants in the new season, which debuts next month."
Scoff if you want, but a key component of the show is telling bold-faced lies to your competitors. Samson has had plenty of practice telling bold-faced lies to his own employees:
Shortstop Jose Reyes and left-hander Mark Buehrle, two of the five Marlins headed to Toronto in a blockbuster, are upset that the team broke verbal promises to them regarding trades, according to major-league sources (…) Buehrle knew the Marlins’ history of dumping high-priced players, and it concerned him, according to a friend. Team president David Samson, however, told both Buehrle and his wife, Jamie, that the team was committed to a long-term vision, sources said.
And then came tribal council, and Reyes and Buehrle were banished to Toronto. With this evidence, I'd say that Samson is the odds on favorite to win this thing. Which is convenient because the Marlins will need that money to not sign Jose Fernandez.
Maybe Jeff Wilpon should play the game so he could win the million dollars and sign a reliever. Or … he could get eaten by a snake. Win-win.
(Editor's note: the reliever probably wouldn't be that good … that million dollars will be more like $600,000 …)
Maybe President Obama took Kent's Hall of Fame votes too.