The Sports Daily > Monkey with a Halo
Top Ten Thursday: Funniest Keyword Referrals

When I couldn’t sleep the other night, I started trolling through of my Google Analytics reports, specifically, the keyword referrals this blog has gotten.  There were a lot of what you would expect (the first 50 or so results were some permutation of “Jeff Mathis can’t hit” or “Angels offense sucks”, but as I got into the depths of the report, I found some that were downright hilarious.

Here are the ten most “interesting” keyword results I found from the last few months.  I know I do some satirical pieces now and then, but I promise you these are all 100% real.  That reminds me, if any of you are responsible for these searches, I both applaud you and am slighlty worried about your mental health.

  1. “Is Jeff Mathis a homosexual”-  Wow, I know give Mathis a hard time, but take it easy people.
  2. “Arte Moreno and murder in Anaheim stadium”-  This last off-season was bad, but murder?  I think someone is taking things a little to personally.
  3. “I hate Carl Crawford”-  Not gonna lie, I’m pretty proud of this one.
  4. “Juan Rivera lazy”-  Why did someone need to Google this?  Just watch him play and that should pretty much tell you all you need to know.
  5. “Vernon Wells big splash”-  Ouch, that one hurts.
  6. “Did Joe Maddon get fat”-  Maddon might be a Scioscia protege, but not to the point that he’s emulating Mike’s body type.
  7. “Garrett Wilson and death penalty”-  WHAT?!?!?!  Hey, people, if you don’t like my writing, just leave a snarky comment, the death penalty seems like a bit much, no?  Seriously though, I actually plugged this search in myself and some douche with the same name as me killed his infant child.  Way to ruin it for everyone, other Garrett.
  8. “Is it a good idea not to drop Kendrys Morales?”-  No, that is not a good idea.  In fact, there might not be much worse ideas out there when it comes to fantasy baseball.
  9. “John Lackey cheats on his wife”-  That’s just not very nice.
  10. “Scott Kazmir don’t worry guys”-  Google FAIL!  There is no way I ever wrote anything about Kazmir that involved the sentiment of “don’t worry.”