With the trade deadline rapidly approaching, the rumors are coming fast and furious. Greinke, Hamels, and Liriano are a few of the names being thrown around as people who may be wearing an Angels uniform after July 30th. However, there is a top-tier free agent that no one is considering. It’s high time we start thinking outside the box here. Fans have come up with one million and a half trades for Peter Bourjos, lets get some of that creativity flowing in bringing someone in instead of getting someone gone.
We are, of course, speaking of Dwight Howard. 6’11”, 265lbs of raw speed and power. Sure, he makes his home in the NBA for now, but we’re thinking outside the box here, remember? Let’s face it, Greinke is unreliable on the road, Hamels is a diva and Isringhausen has already filled the Halos’ “pitcher with a funny last name” quota, making Liriano extraneous. Dwight Howard is our man. The same athleticism that allows Dwight to pound the court for 38 minutes a game will let him tear up the base paths and kick off the turf to snag flys and line drives, playing the game at a level like none before him.
That said, how do the Halos acquire him? The obvious course is attempting to sell a Bourjos-for-Dwight trade. Bourjos is 6’1″ which could work in his favor in the NBA. It’s below average, but let’s not forget names like Nate Robinson, Spudd Webb and Muggsy Bogues. Height is not a barrier when one has speed, and Bourjos is crazy fast. In addition, his cannon-like arm will work in his favor when making that last second three pointer, and his vertical leaps into the center field wall have trained him well to slam an alley-oop. Indeed, the merits of Peter Bourjos are well documented, but it is not likely the Orlando Magic would accept only him in trade. We’d need to sweeten the deal and with no draft picks to cross over, it needs to be someone that will draw. Perhaps “Takahashinsanity” can go head-to-head with Linsanity. Maybe Vernon Wells wants to consider bringing his ponderous contract into an arena where he will STILL be viewed as overpaid. It is also not impossible that with all of this talk of Orlando, Howie Kendrick may have a sudden rash of homesickness and desire a return to Florida, the land of his birth.
If the Angels can’t bring Dwight Howard to Anaheim for 2 players, then a multi-team trade needs to be considered. If there is to be a multi team trade, how about this: Dwight Howard comes to Anaheim. Peter Bourjos and Metta World Peace go to the Magic to replace the vigor and media drawing power of Howard. The Lakers and Phillies swap their divas as Cole Hamels goes to LA and Andrew Bynum is sent to the Phillies. For the final piece, the Lakers bring in Vernon Wells because, let’s face it, every player in the twilight of their career wants to get a ring with LA before they retire (Just look at Steve Nash).
Dwight Howard has the skill to be a multi-sport athlete the likes of which has never been seen. Bo Jackson will look on him as an equal. Olympic athletes will applaud and step down from their podiums to allow him to ascend. Bodybuilders will toast him with their whey protein shakes. Hockey players will put in dental implants just to smile at him. The internet will refuse to criticize him. The Most Interesting Man in The World will share a Dos Equis with him. He is Dwight Howard, Anaheim Angel!
Let’s just hope he doesn’t completely bomb like Michael Jordan did when he tried to cross over. The last thing fans want to see is the Angels showing up in “Space Jam 2”.