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The Sports Daily > The Belly of the Beast
List Of Things Leonard Fournette Cannot Jump Over

The NFL Combine is working its way through Day Four of cone drills, 40-yard dashes, reps of all kinds, and EAT THIS LUNCHPAIL TO SHOW ME HOW MUCH YOU CARE ABOUT FOOTBALL interviews. As usual, there is some serious concern over combine participants not posting numbers that match expectations.

For example, Leonard Fournette, of wrecking-a-defensive-back-on-your-team fame, recorded a 28.5 vertical jump, which was surprising to many who had never seen him try to jump before.

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NOT JUST ONE RED FLAG. RED FLAGS. ALARMING. ARE YOU NOT ALARMED?

I am so alarmed that I’ve taken the time to put together a list of things Leonard Fournette cannot jump over with those weak, jelly-like legs of his. Let this be a warning to those who might consider drafting him.

Things Leonard Fournette Cannot Jump Over

Another Leonard Fournette

His brother Lanard Fournette

His home

His car

Les Miles

Ed Orgeron in a three-point stance in a recruit’s living room

A Danny Etling Interception

The trophy for the Arkansas/LSU game

The trophy for the Ole Miss/LSU game

The yet-to-be-made trophy for another conference game featuring LSU

The Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl trophy (BECAUSE HE WASN’T THERE)

The NCAA’s NOA(s) to Ole Miss

The amount of money Leo Lewis’ mom said LSU offered her son

The Mississippi River

The Grand Canyon

Tiger Stadium

Even pre-expansion Tiger Stadium

The Gerald R. Ford USS (it’s a place and better than land)

All of the #hot combine #taeks, if printed and stacked into 12 eight-foot pillars

The NFL scout who, the week before the draft, will tell a reporter, “I’m concerned about his ability to run the hurdles.”

The Shield

Mr. Kraft

Mr. Rooney

Mr. Richardson

Mr. Jo- DOUBLE J

The 40 yards that he sprinted across in 4.51 seconds