The NFL Combine is working its way through Day Four of cone drills, 40-yard dashes, reps of all kinds, and EAT THIS LUNCHPAIL TO SHOW ME HOW MUCH YOU CARE ABOUT FOOTBALL interviews. As usual, there is some serious concern over combine participants not posting numbers that match expectations.
For example, Leonard Fournette, of wrecking-a-defensive-back-on-your-team fame, recorded a 28.5 vertical jump, which was surprising to many who had never seen him try to jump before.
NOT JUST ONE RED FLAG. RED FLAGS. ALARMING. ARE YOU NOT ALARMED?
I am so alarmed that I’ve taken the time to put together a list of things Leonard Fournette cannot jump over with those weak, jelly-like legs of his. Let this be a warning to those who might consider drafting him.
Things Leonard Fournette Cannot Jump Over
Another Leonard Fournette
His brother Lanard Fournette
Ed Orgeron in a three-point stance in a recruit’s living room
A Danny Etling Interception
The trophy for the Arkansas/LSU game
The trophy for the Ole Miss/LSU game
The yet-to-be-made trophy for another conference game featuring LSU
The Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl trophy (BECAUSE HE WASN’T THERE)
The NCAA’s NOA(s) to Ole Miss
The amount of money Leo Lewis’ mom said LSU offered her son
The Mississippi River
The Grand Canyon
Even pre-expansion Tiger Stadium
The Gerald R. Ford USS (it’s a place and better than land)
All of the #hot combine #taeks, if printed and stacked into 12 eight-foot pillars
The NFL scout who, the week before the draft, will tell a reporter, “I’m concerned about his ability to run the hurdles.”
Mr. Jo- DOUBLE J