The Sports Daily > The Brewers Bar
Fox Sports Girls, Take a Hike


Image: digplanet.com

The Fox Sports Wisconsin girls appeared out of nowhere. They became the commercial-break cheerleaders and vacant media personalities no one had asked for. Their newfound presence was greeted with shrugs, acquiescence, cheers and boos in the households of Brewers fans.  Few have challenged this upheaval with the notable exception of Nicole Haase at Brew Crew Ball.  Yet, day has dawned.  It's 2013; it's now-o'clock.  There are no Fox Sports Wisconsin 'boys', 'hunks' in tight shirts and ill-fitting hipster jeans rahrahing audiences and assuring those predominantly male viewers at home and in bars that they are, indeed, watching Fox Sports, from their CGI-inflected positions at Miller Park.  The girls are conventionally attractive drones who may be the girls next door, spies ready to report you to the Nazis or pods ready to suck your brains out with a straw at the drop of a [hat].  The Fox Sports Wisconsin girls must go.

The 'girls' are women.  They apparently go through some kind of selection process to receive these prestigious jobs but overall serve little purpose other than to look pretty in Brewers gear during short seque interludes. The Fox Sports North (Minnesota) girls may as well be clones conceived in a lab at the Fox Sports factory complex in Hannibal, Missouri (which doesn't exist).  The girls, during this season's Twins-Brewers series, had an especially vacuous exchange regarding an inane Twitter poll involving which is the better ballpark: Miller Park or Target Field.  Inevitably, the Twitter debate devolved into an 'indoor' versus 'outdoor' baseball fiasco which was terribly irrevelant because: memo to Twins fans, the Miller Park roof is retractable and while, no, it's not as 'open air' as Target Field, Miller Park has a roof for complicated reasons and was built 10 years before the Twin Cities finally understood what a long-lasting mistake they'd erected in the cheap, pitiful fixed-roof Metrodome.  In any case, the Fox Sports girls only contributed to and propagated what is a stupid, banal war of meaningless words.

Ultimately, the Fox Sports Wisconsin girls' presence is embarassing and dumb.  We get enough high-powered testosterone with the NFL and Ryan Braun (natch).  Baseball has enough going on and its intelligent subtleties allow no room for idiotic sexist displays of women as objects playfully designed to lure the deep-woods hick or 'old-fashioned' man's man to the game when baseball should instead evolve and perhaps actively shun men who view women as inferior or feel a woman's place in baseball is to wear skimpy outfits to games or play the devil (Front Row Amy) or angel (FS girls) arbitrarily.  It is emphatically moronic to reduce women to cheerleaders, especially in baseball when society at large does it oh so efficiently for us otherwise.