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MLB COMMISSIONER ROB MANFRED OKS SPECIAL EXEMPTIONS FOR PITCHER BARTOLO COLON
Eighty-Seven Year Old Braves Starter Will be Allowed to Use Reinforced Golf Cart to Field Bunts, Travel to and From the Mound and Dugout, Get to Post-Game Spread Before Other Players
“This is not a baseball issue”, stated Manfred, “this is a humanitarian intervention.”
NEW COLLECTIVE BARGAINING AGREEMENT ADDS FRESH MEANING AND DRAMA TO ANNUAL MLB ALL STAR GAME
2017 Game Will Feature Live Hostage Situation, Stunning 7th Inning Revelation About Santa Claus, and Free Lifetime Supply of Smoked Bacon for Winning Team
TAMPA BAY RAYS SET TO CHANGE TEAM NAME WHEN NEW STADIUM DEAL IS SIGNED
Team Will Be Called the “Los Angeles Rays of Tampa Bay” to Cash in On Name Branding and Merchandising Associated with Nation’s Second Largest City
BASEBALL COMMISSIONER ROB MANFRED TO EXPAND NUMBER OF MLB WILD CARD TEAMS
“Under Our New Rules,” Stated Manfred, “Basically Every Team Except the Minnesota Twins and the Cincinnati Reds Will Automatically Make the Playoffs Each Season.”
MEDICAL EXAMINER’S REPORT FINALLY OUT ON 2010 DEATH OF LEGENDARY PITCHER ROBIN ROBERTS
Tests Show Lack of Pitch Counts in the 1950s Ultimately Caught Up With 83 Year Old Hall of Fame Hurler