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2012 NFL Draft-or-Bust Off: Greg Childs

Welcome to Purple Jesus Diaries’ 2012 NFL Draft-or-Bust Off where we cover all items related to the 2012 NFL Draft as pertains to the Minnesota Vikings. At this point in the year, we will continue reviewing this crop of draft picks. We’ve already looked at Matt Kalil, Harrison Smith, Josh Robinson, Jarius Wright, and Rhett Ellison, so today we introduce you to the latest Minnesota Vikings’ replacement for Randy Moss, WR Greg Childs out of Arkansas …

You bet your ass I’m leading with a shirtless picture of Greg Childs. You’re welcome, ladies and bicuriouses.

WHO? In the spring of 1990 (NINETEEN NINETY, DO YOU KNOW HOW OLD THAT MAKES ME FEEL), a young child was born who would one day catch the Super Bowl winning catch for the Minnesota Vikings as he brought in a fade pattern in the back of the endzone against the Baltimore Ravens. In NFL Madden Football 2016 released in a handful of years. Probably will never happen in real life. But that person will still be Greg Childs, all 6’3″ and 219 pounds of him. Probably even more at that point in his career. And why not? At every other place of football he’s stopped throughout his career he’s made an impact. In high school in Arkansas he was an all state selection in 2007 as a senior, and at Arkansas, he was heading into his senior season considered for The Biletnikoff Award before tearing his patella tendon, which I think is some kind of pasta. He rushed back last year, not 100% healthy, dropped in the drafts, and was there for the cherry picking for the Vikings late in the fourth round.

The big question now; will he finally replace Randy Moss?!

POTENTIAL NICKNAMES: Childs Please, Pedobear, Gregory, Childs Play, Childs in Charge, and many more. Open to suggestions like usual.

HE BE TWEETIN: He be! We haven’t had a Tweeter in a while, but you can check him out @TheGregChilds85. 85 …. Does that mean no more Greg Camarillo? Are Greg’s just replaceable, moving parts on this team?

The good news is that Mr. Childs has loads of potential that was overlooked because of a previous knee injury. What we all like about him is that he’s coming from a pro-style system at Arkansas, and when he had Ryan Coked-Out Mallet throwing him footballs in 2010, he had 46 receptions for 659 yards and six touchdowns before going down with the knee injury. Not too bad. The other good news, from NFL.com:

Childs understands how to use his body in the short game to create the space needed to be effective. He builds up his speed throughout the route and can battle with corners underneath when trying to gain position on slant and drive routes. He isn’t a physical player, but he will use his big frame to shield when necessary. When running the fade route, he understands how to use the sideline to his advantage. He can make any catch and can torque his body when running in-phase.

Good torque. Love a football player with good torque. And a big frame. Sounds like someone Aaron Rodgers would like.

BAD FOOTBALLIN: The bad news is that, yes, he’s going to be labeled as having injury concerns until he simply doesn’t. Also, while he’s big and physical, I need to see more of him to gauge his football speed. He did run a 4.41 40-yard dash at the combine, which is NOICE, but is he really going to be a deep threat for us? We don’t need another guy that is kind of fast running along the sidelines. We can pay Michael Booker $4 Million a year for that. I want Childs to tear the god damn roof off the Dome while it’s still here and bring back some Moss memories. Or hell, I’d even settle for some Sidney Rice memories. My concerns also are not alleviated when reading the rest of the NFL.com analysis:

Childs’ lack of speed is obvious on routes deeper than five to 10 yards. He is not explosive and struggles to separate from receivers, though the ability to separate is becoming increasingly important in the NFL. He is not a deep threat and makes all downfield plays solely because of his size. Childs is just an average athlete who will struggle to make an immediate impact at the next level.

So as a worthless couch potato, I gotta know which one is it? Is he fast like his combine 40 told us, or is he not fast as the game film says? JUST GIVE ME ANSWERS, CRUEL WORLD.

DAS VERDICT: Pretty much anything after the second round in the NFL Draft, the jury will be out on the success of the pick for three to four years. Childs may be … FINE … but he sure as shit won’t be a Randy Moss. Or a Sidney Rice. Or probably even a Dwayne Bates. No … No, I take that back. The issue with the Childs pick isn’t even that it’s Childs and I don’t like him or anything. It’s that we all knew the Vikings needed a guy who was going to potentially be groomed into a number one receiver out of this draft, and there is NO WAY they were sitting there Wednesday before the draft started saying to each other, “We got this, Greg Childs is going to fall into our laps and it’s going to be perfect!” I just don’t buy it. They could have had Alshon Jefferey, Nick Toon, Stephen Hill, Devon Wiley and others all throughout the draft to settle this need, and no one would have complained about not getting Josh Robinson, or Jarius “Harvin” Wright. It’s just weird.

Who knows though. If he ends up getting playing time on this island of misfit dweebs, anything can happen. At the very least, we should be happy he’s taking Camarillo’s spot and cross our fingers that he becomes the next great deep threat in purple. I certainly won’t complain if it happens. And honestly, doesn’t he look A LITTLE bit like a young Randy Moss?! Shit, that would be awesome.