Stop what you’re doing and give me your attention! I have a very important announcement to make concerning Randy Moss! Although he is not a member of the Minnesota Vikings, he will never be forgotten as one of our football children that we have released out into the wild, like Carl Eller (Note: released on bail), Darrion Scott (Note: released on child assault charges), Onterrio Smith (Note: released on account of a fake penis), or Brooks Bollinger (Note: released because he sucked)! Randy Moss will always be a Viking in our purple hearts so this news is of UTMOST importance!
That is all.