The Sports Daily > Vikings Digital Diaries
Bounty Gate Reaches New Low


This item has been on the back-burner at this site since it’s broke, largely because I don’t feel like inserting a tampon into my rectum, tearing myself away from busty pictures of Salma Hayek, and whining like a pregnant woman over an NFC Championship and Super Bowl win that we can’t go back in time and take anyway. Regardless, finding out that the only way the shit-eating Saints could beat the Minnesota Vikings in 2009 was by cheating didn’t really surprise me. That Vikings team was … God … They were so good …

Whatever. It doesn’t matter. What DOES matter is smearing the names of every person affiliated with that Saints team now through the bat guano until they are penniless, penisless, and pensive to walk near by car with the brake lights on (I want to run them over, you see). This quote is a good start in ruining the life of that four-eyed freak and former Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams:

Citing multiple anonymous players, David Elfin writes at the Washington, D.C., CBS affiliate that when the Redskins opened the 2006 season against the Vikings, Williams (who was then the team’s defensive coordinator) made a specific point of telling his players to go after Brad Johnson, the Vikings quarterback who had previously played for the Redskins.

“Gregg came in and dropped $15,000 on the [table] and said, ‘Brad Johnson doesn’t finish this game,’” one player said.


Let’s take a step back quick. Yes, Gregg Williams is a real asshole. We know that. But second to him is Sean Peyton. Third to THEM is maybe Brad Childress, who was in his first season as coach of the Minnesota Vikings in 2006. He masterfully had assembled a roster which included Travis Taylor, Troy Williamson, Marcus Johnson, Darrion Scott, Napoleon Harris, Fred Smoot, and Dwight Smith. You almost can’t make that up. Leading this rag-tag group was 67-year old Brad Johnson, who apparently scared the poop straight out of Gregg Williams’ colon.

The real question then becomes, was Brad Johnson THAT GOOD or is Gregg Williams that large of an axe wound? I’m going with that latter, of course, largely because the Vikings ended up beating that stupid-ass team 19-16. Brad Johnson? He was OK that game, if you like Tarvaris Jackson production in a zombie-body. He threw for over 200 yards with a touchdown (to Marcus Robinson!) and zero interceptions. And while I don’t remember vividly, all signs seem to point to him being able to finish the game and walk away under his own power, bringing his two chins with him. Gregg Williams? I think he tripped over his labia that was dragging behind him.

As such, he continues to try and gather his dangling flesh from behind him. He’ll have plenty of time to do so as he’s currently serving an indefinite ban from the NFL because of his bounty games. If he doesn’t come back after this suspension, though, I think we’ll all know why.

Brad Johnson has become … THE BOUNTY HUNTER!!

That’d be awesome. So old.