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It’s Already Time to Hate Our Second Round Quarterback Draft Pick

The 2011 NFL Draft is fast approaching (three weeks or something? Exciting!) and there is of course rampant discussion and speculation about the Minnesota Vikings drafting a quarterback, or five, in any of the seven rounds. Most of the discussion has circulated around Ryan Mallett (BARF), Jake Locker (GO TO HELL) and others who may fall to pick 12 or even into the second round, where the Vikings may select a quarterback then.

I know what you’re thinking. Jake Locker in the second round?! What a steal! We’d be fools not to take him! Oh really? Because unless his name his Drew Brees as well and has actually already won a Super Bowl, the chances of a second round QB panning out are apparently pretty slim, according to this scientific report analyzing facts and stuff from Yahoo! Sports:

“In the past decade, teams have looked for quarterbacks at the top of the draft. Twenty-seven QBs have been taken in the first round since 2001, with varied results. During that same time span, 12 quarterbacks were selected in the second round, with mostly disappointing results. Teams often reached for prospects with mid-round grades because they were so in need of a signalcaller.”

Want to further hammer this point home? Read about the 12 slop-holes who were nabbed in the second round to be franchise guys, including our favorite Jump Passer:

The article continues with names like Jimmy Clausen, Pat White, Brian Brohm, Chad Henne, and more. We eventually get to TarVar where this is said:

“Tarvaris Jackson(notes) / 2006 — Unlike many on the list, Jackson has seen the field often, even taking the Minnesota Vikings to the playoffs in ’08. However, Brett Favre(notes) sent Jackson back to the bench the next year, and Jackson has started only one game since ’09.”

Fuck, don’t remind me. It’s interesting to think that out of all the second round QB’s taken since 2001, TarVar might have actually been the best. Does this mean he just needs to be given some more time to break out like Drew Brees needed? Or are Vikings fans so upset with their long history of black quarterbacks that you want a white guy who also wasn’t a Packer for just a little while?

Not me! I’m all aboard the Cam Newton train and will fucking fight anyone who says otherwise. if that computer stealing bastard drops to number 12 and we don’t take him, I will burn the Metrodome down myself … Not that it needs the help.

And while this article is interesting if you’ve already finished masturbating for the day, I have two main opinions on it:

1) I think he forgot about Colt McCoy. Wasn’t he drafted in the second? He doesn’t look worse than Jimmy Clausen, but that’s also pretty impossible to do.

2) There is a reason these quarterbacks, a position highly coveted, weren’t taken in the first round: They are not franchise quarterbacks. At best, all of these are stop gap guys. That’s just how it is. Sometimes you’ll have a QB without any flaws and, with as much as the NFL covets those children, you take them in the top 10 picks. We always hear a nice story of Tom Brady being drafted in round 6 and the flip side with Ryan Leaf being overvalued. But the draft isn’t stuck in 1992 anymore, ladies. Look now at Rogers, Cutler, Stafford, Sanchez, the Mannings, Rivers and anyone else you can think of … First round picks. It’s just how it’s done, IF they are good enough.

So here’s hoping that the general consensus from draft pundits is that the Vikings should be taking a QB, whoever that QB is, with the number 12 pick. And if not this year, then it better be a high QB pick next year. Because the chances of us finding our franchise guy in later rounds are about as high as you getting to touch a vagina before you’re 37. And I don’t like those odds.