Oh, hey there. Did you enjoy your weekend in Minnesota? It was GORGEOUS, wasn’t it? Hot, steamy, a little breeze to keep things cool, perfect for boat weather. Or at least getting near the water somehow. If you were smart, like Minnesota Vikings quarterback Christian Ponder and center John Sullivan, you found a way to hit the lakes and enjoy the sunshine, but – most importantly – YOU GOT TO TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF AGAIN.
For those who frequent this blog, you know I totally love the ladies. Especially Carrie Underwood. Dem Legs. But there are also a fair number of women who read this blog, and I would be remiss if I did not alert them to breaking news such as what happened this weekend when resident dream boat Christian Ponder was running around with his shirt off. It’s my duty, and, uh, for the women. Yeah … Regardless, even for the guys, a Shirtless Ponder is a good thing, because it usually means that he’s having a good time, is connecting with his swaggy bros like J-Sully, which then builds to awesome rapport on the field, ending up in additional wins for the team. And that’s what we’re all looking for, right?
So we need to join together then and have each and every one of us sign a petition in the comments below saying Shirtless Ponder should be the standard Ponder. Details after the fold.
To start, no, I didn’t actually create a petition online because I’m lazy as shit. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t voice our support for Shirtless Ponder. Following are some reasons – and ways – in which we can help this movement.
- Shirtless Ponder is the best Ponder because he’s so care free. Have you ever seen a picture of Shirtless Ponder with a frown on? Of course not. Because he’s shirtless and loving life. Everything is awesome when you’re Shirtless Ponder. When you’re regular season, jersey wearing Ponder, you’re getting sacked, wracking up losses, and having to fight off calls for One-Trick-Pony Joe Webb. Shirtless? Zero fucks are given.
- Shirtless Ponder is that guy all the dudes want to hang ten with, and all the chicks want to lose their panties to. Jersey Ponder? Ew. He probably smells like football and smelling salts and Leslie Frazier and reads his playbook on the weekend. No thanks.
- Shirtless Ponder never dissapoints. He’s not throwing any interceptions, he’s not in charge of a three and out. He’s just the epitome of everything that’s right in the world.
- Shirtless Ponder is friends with everyone on the team. He’s never causing any gruff between the offense and the defense when the offense is stalling out, he never is trying to satisfy needy receivers with enough touches, or handing the ball off to running backs the wrong way. The most troubling thing Shirtless Ponder has to worry about is if he got enough ground beef to grill hamburgers for everyone at the summer BBQ.
Clearly, these are reasons enough to toss in your vote of confidence to make Shirtless Ponder the predominant Ponder in our lives. But there are other, simple ways to show your support!
- Leave a statement in the comment section of this post saying “I vote for Shirtless Ponder” or “I’ll Take it off for Shirtless Ponder” or “Shirtless Ponder is King” or whatever else. We need to show our support, connect, and grow this movement!
- When taking to twitter, make sure you use the hashtag #ShirtlessPonder when referencing our favorite quarterback. It’ll catch on like wildfire, I promise!
- Tell your friends! If they haven’t seen a picture of Shirtless Ponder, they of course don’t know about how great he is. Building trust on an important voting issue such as this between friends can go a long way.
- Call your Vikings representatives! I’m pretty sure this will work. Email coaches, administrative assistants at Winter Park, your season ticket rep, whoever it is … Tell them you want to see more Shirtless Ponder! Ask for a 2013 Shirtless Ponder Calendar!
There are many other ways, but I’ll leave that up to you to help figure them out. But together, we can do this! We can make Shirtless Ponder the one and only true Ponder! Let your voice be heard!
And it’s totally for the ladies, remember …