As soon as the Randy Moss trade was made official, everyone came out of the closet with an opinion. Vikings fans declared it the return of the prodigal son, while Joe Buck nearly blacked due to flash backs to disgusting acts. I’m assuming Raiders fans were all like, “Hey remember us when we traded for him and he played with us for two years? Anyone?” No, of course not.
If all of these idiots talking wasn’t enough, it was decided by ephemeral people that hate me that NFL players need to check in on the Moss trade as well. As was reported by ESPN (or the first Google search result to come up with my query), Revis had this to say about Randy Moss playing at the age of 33:
“In the second half, you could tell he was putting his foot on the brake,” said the Jets’ star cornerback, looking forward to facing the Minnesota Vikings Monday night. “I mean, everybody knows that’s Randy. Sometimes he plays 100 percent, sometimes he doesn’t.”
No shit, dude. Everyone knows that. Some idiots like to bitch and moan about that, like Moss CAN’T fucking take a play off ever, because he OWES it to me as a FAN because I LOVE him! Idiots.
That didn’t bother me that much though, in comparison to what that Green Bay Packer Jermichael Finley had to say about it …
Now, before we get this pillow fight on I should go ahead and say that Jermichael Finely is pretty awesome, seems like a generally decent person, and would be a blast to go drink Absinthe with. Or Cristal. Whatever cool black people drink these days, I don’t really know. However, he IS a Green Bay Packer, so I can’t actually like him, which of course leads us to this quote he offered to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, which is amazing because I didn’t think people knew how to read in Milwaukee:
“It’s going to be alright. It’s not going to be tough at all. I think we’ll still take the NFC North. It’s just another player.”
JUST ANOTHER PLAYER, SIR? OK, he did go on apparently and talk very highly of Moss in the article (and as he noted on his Twitter account), but I didn’t bother reading that when I made the following innocuous Tweet to a random athlete that no one would bother with:
This of course was followed up by our blog friend, Nonpopulist, who kindly ReTweeted the message because I am assuming he thought it was slightly humorous. At THAT point, Finely apparently found it, ReTweeted it to HIS followers, and I found myself lambasted by retarded Packer fans, as you can see below, WITH COMMENTS!
Of course he’s aging, he’s human. As is Jermichael Finely and yourself, who unfortunately appears to be a homosexual.
Says the guy who would blow his own transvestite mother to have Randy Moss on his team.
Listen to yourself, you apparent Notre Dame loving cock boy; Randy Moss is just another player? Antoine Dodson thinks the rapist that tried to pound his sister is a brilliant scientist after listening to you say that right now. I don’t care if Moss came out of a three year retirement to play for the Vikings at the age of 56. He’d still be better than half the league, and could still pleasure your girlfriend in ways your pencil dick would faint at. Finally, there was this douche bag:
who was apparently talking in tongues. I can only assume he meant this:
So there you have it. You are now just as stupid as I am after having to read through a bunch of inbred fucks responses to an off handed comment that was stupid to begin with. Fucking social media. If you’re on Twitter yourself, I totally wouldn’t highly recommend you finding these people and toying with them. Packer fans are stupid enough to fall for any tricks you may leave them, including box traps with candies.
And as an aside, it’s not even that I, nor anyone I know, thinks this REALLY is going to guarantee the Vikings a Super Bowl. I still think they’ll lose against the Jets. But I don’t even care. They could lose the rest of their games this season and I’d be fine just knowing that Moss is back on the team. Which is stupid, because it makes these meat packers right essentially, but they don’t need to know that. Remember; They don’t know how to read!
Anyway, for wasting your time, here’s some Moss highlight videos from days of yore: