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Things Stupid Enough to Happen: Vikings Trade for the Number Eight Pick

If you don’t consistently read Rube Chat I don’t exactly recommend that you start doing so now unless you wish to be bombarded by brain dead idiots trying to finger bang a key lock, but every once and a while you’ll find a couple of gems like PJD did today. Taken from the San Francisco Chronicle, there are reports floating around out there that the Raiders have been offered by an unnamed team a 2010 second round draft pick and a 2011 first round draft pick in order to obtain the Raiders first round draft pick, number eight overall, in this upcoming 2010 draft. Did that makes sense? Didn’t think so.

The point being made here is that some people think it’s likely the unnamed could be the Minnesota Vikings who may be positioning themselves to nab a quarterback at that spot, with the most likely candidate being the douchetastic Jimmy Clausen.

Holy buckets.

This isn’t as far fetched as some people would think. It would be important (I mean, if you actually cared and weren’t just a casual fan that enjoyed making dick jokes) to realize all of the offseason connections that have sprung up between the Raiders, Eagles, and the Vikings. Vikings Gab has a pretty good break down off all of these coinky-dinks out there, things strange enough to make you imagine that something is brewing in Childress’ witches pot. I assume he’s actually a woman, yes?

Jimmy Clausen is the name being tossed around because some people have him rated as the best QB prospect in this draft, and because holy shit the Vikings need some type of franchise potential QB soon. If the Vikings ended up picking eighth, there is potential Clausen would still be there. Personally, I hate Clausen with every square inch of my black little heart, but it has absolutely nothing to do with his football prowess. I guess he’s probably decent. But with his spiky hair, him being a fruit cake, his signing announcements, him getting punched by a brutish lady, his affiliation with Notre Dame … I mean, we could go on and on … I just dislike him. Would he be awesome as the Vikings quarterback though?


This is almost so crazy it could work. I won’t describe how, from a logistics standpoint since other sites could do that better, but from the Vikings perspective it’d be perfect. Favre is, like, pretty sure to come back in 2010. Let’s pretend he does. You go into 2010 with him, TarVar as the primary back up, and a young, gay, Jimmy Clausen on hand to learn from Favre. In 2011, Favre retires, TarVar is … I think an unrestricted free agent so he probably walks (or is so stupid he re-signs after the Vikings promise him an opportunity to compete against Clausen) and I’d assume they’d find some free agent third stringer, like Brooks Bollinger or whatever. I’m assuming Sage dies somewhere in all of this. Regardless, that sounds like not a terrible quarterback transition, which speaks volumes of just how shitty they have all been under Childress. And, worst case scenario, Donovan McNabb still gets traded to Oakland, doesn’t sign an extension, and then comes to Minnesota. Voila! QB problems solved temporarily. Also, it works out draft pick wise because let’s be honest, this team is REALLY FUCKING GOOD, and we don’t have to use a lot of draft picks right now. So we still keep our first rounder this year, grab a QB with the eight and a CB with the 30th, skip the second round, and plug in wherever in the later rounds (twss?).  In 2011, after Favre wins a Super Bowl, it’s not a huge deal that we don’t have a first rounder. Boom. Set.

So keep your ear out and keep checking to see if any more of this info starts popping up around the webs leading up to the draft. And if it does make sure to let us know! How would you feel about this?