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Tweets O’ the Game: More Penis Jokes Than You Can Shake a “Stick” At


Man, you know when the Vikings are playing on a semi-national TV game and one of our players goes WWE nut-shot style on someone that there is going to be a lot of talk about it. In fact, surprisingly, most of the talk for this week’s Tweets O’ the Game revolved around two things: Wangers and Pondexter not imploding, which really is a success in all of our books.

There were certainly many Tweets to choose from the featured the infamous ball blow, but for some reason this rather simple Tweet from @Detroit4lyfe got me good, and he also provided the video you see above, so it works doubly:

Haha, yes he did, yes he did. Great stuff. On to the rest of the junk jokes:

We continue by backing up a bit and featuring two tweets from the beginning of the game, when everyone was pooping in their respective pants after Pondexter rolled out and threw a 70+ yard bomb that was almost a touchdown to Michael Jenkins (who I was like, THIS, close to picking up and starting in a fantasy team, but that’s why I suck). It begins with @VikingAgeDan who released an exclamation that I’m assuming appropriately reflected the Metrodome atmosphere:

This elation continued with a back-and-forth between @drewmagary and @bigmono with this:

I mostly enjoyed it for the vision of McSlab being all casual and fat on the sidelines with his arms crossed, and then the skinny and short Ponder comes up to him and just starts helicoptering his dick in his face. Shit would be AWESOME. But wait … WHAT IF HE DID IT WITH HIS SHIRT OFF?! Yeah, nice. Gay.

For two weeks in a row (I think, I’m not really paying attention to anything here at all), @king_raccoon gets into the Tweets O’ the Game by noticing and assuming the same thing I did, about a quarter into the game:

And, hey, we DIDN’T win, obviously, but this has to be the second closest thing we’ve had to a win despite the ACTUAL win over the Cardinals, right? Both with Berrian out. I swear to god … Camarillo has got to have more catches – or at least receiving yards now – than Berrian, right? Wow.

Sometime around this point in the game, people got their peens hammered in by a football cleat. In quick succession, there were oohs and ahhs and enough crotch grabbing and flinching to make any man hurt. Really, they all came too quickly for me to handle (sex joke!), so I present to you a snap shot of my four favorite mentions of the incident brought to you by @SouhanStrib, @willbrinson, @bbarnes333 (through @karlasand) and @mflbw:

Great work, all around. I feel this captured the incident to perfection. Surprisingly, someone from the Star Tribune was actually kind of funny with Souhan’s Tweet. I also like the play on words with “Balls Deep.” If you have others that you came across during the game, let us know in the comments, because we can never laugh too much at a good dick joke.

Unfortunately, the game had to continue, but despite the Packers running up the score and kick US in the nuts, @RandBall was still able to find some humor in it all:

Ooooooohhhh … Does anyone think the game would have been different had Cook played? I’m on the fence. On one hand, I think that blown coverage TD to Jennings probably doesn’t happen, but then who know what else does. I mean, it’s not like Cook plays middle linebacker or safety, so he wouldn’t have been any help there. Whatever, we suck.

To wrap up this portion, we turn to @dmbmeg who pretty much expressed my exact feelings throughout the entire game:

Yup, I got ARodg manning my fantasy team, what of it? The team IS called “PJD’s Shirtless Men.” Next year, it’s Ponder though, fa show.

Finally, to wrap things up with this week’s “ReTweet of the Game.” This is a tweet featured from our very own @PJDiaries account which is often lofty, hilarious, and produces babies, reasons you should follow us during games. This week’s retweet received a solid FOUR retweets from followers, which is probably the highest rate of success ever seen on our dumb account. Thanks to @pants_, @simmerdown15, @C3_H8, and @JosefRubenstein for making it happen!

More genital jokes, but in a new context, you see. Also it brings us pretty much full circle on the *waves dick* mental image, so this should be a good time to quit.

Join us again next week as we get to tweet about how much we wish we had Cam Newton. Make sure to come back here then next week for the glorious recap. In the meantime follow us on Twitter, check us out on Facebook, and leave comments whenever you can because I asked you kindly, OK? Let’s do this again next week!