Welcome to a Purple Jesus Diaries series called "View Looking In." This is a series where we'll feature blog posts from guest authors who may or may not be hard core, insider Vikings fans, but have unique takes on the team regardless. We'll take that opportunity to gauge ourselves – the crazed fans too close to the team in most cases – against the general public opinion and see just how loopy we are. Today, we actually feature the Dan Barriero proclaimed Vikings "Fan's Fan," @HitandMissKarla, with her notes from day one of training camp last weekend. They're dated (she's not!), but they're still relevant. We'll jump in occasionally with our take on HER take, to get super meta on you as well. Let's begin!
Observations from 2013 Vikings Training Camp – Day 1
1.) There's always that one cool, old guy that will listen, nod, and smile while I yap for a half-hour about my all-time favorite Vikings player.
PJD's Take: You know he's just thinking about you naked, right? That, or he's playing the grandfatherly card and is just SO DAMN PROUD that his little girl is all grown up and loves football so much. Also … Uh … You didn't even mentioned your all-time favorite Vikings player! Come on!
2.) A 5', 100 lb girl can scare a way a grown man by saying, "Excuse me, you almost elbowed me in the face."
PJD's Take: You could also scare him by saying, "Excuse me, you almost elbowed me in the tit", but it would scare him in an arousing sort of way. There's some man insight for you!
3.) Every year, and I mean every damn year, I stand next to "the guy" who repeatedly tells his son the wrong names of players, and "the dude bros" asking questions like, "Who's number 7?"
PJD's Take: What is the deal, Dads? Are you just trying to convince your child that you know everything? That seems like a recipe for failure. Do they not offer the most basic of media guides to fans at training camp? Couldn't take the 30 seconds to look the roster up on your smart phone? And god dammit, I hate Dude Bros. Nothing worse. I would expect that those were the same guys hammering at players to get an autograph after practice. So they could go sell it on Ebay. DICKS.
4.) The only words out of my mouth watching Locke punt for the first time – "Holy shit!"
PJD's Take: Actually encouraging to hear! Everyone says Locke is a fine punter, but if a Kluwe fan like you is impressed by UCLA2.0, then maybe I'm even willing to give him a chance. Still wish we had Kluwe, obviously, but what do I know. If I like Kluwe that apparently means I'm a homo loving Libtard, so you can't trust anything PJD writes.
5.) After watching one 2-1/2 hour practice, everyone's an expert. The QBs suck and we are doomed. How about we let them unpack and take their first healthy shit before we start the "Fire Childress!" chants?
PJD's Take: Are you NOT suppose to do that? But doesn't Ponder suck anyway? I am confuse.
Well? Does @HitandMissKarla know her stuff? Let her hear it in the comments.